


Can’t Get You Outta My Mind

by snhwmx



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Dramarama era, First Time Blow Jobs, Friends to Lovers, I might add more tags later, Light Angst, Lots of talk about feelings coz that’s how I write fics lol, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rimming, ShowHyung Rise!, Smut, Somnophilia...? Ya it’s there in one chapter, Thirsty Hyunwoo, hopefully it isn’t boring, mainly Hyungwon centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 17:35:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18473785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snhwmx/pseuds/snhwmx
Summary: Hyungwon, who is Straight™, starts doubting his sexuality when thoughts of his Hyunwoo hyung’s lips keep haunting him day and night.He blames it all on that one photoshoot of The Code which ruined everything for him.





	1. What’s Happening To Me?!

**Author's Note:**

> I did proof read this but if any pesky typos got left behind, please ignore them!  
> I’ll read through this again later and correct them if I missed anything.
> 
> Also this story is completed. I’ll update soon.  
> Like REALLY soon.
> 
> Also comments and kudos make me happy. So please leave some if you like this story. Thanks in advance! Happy reading!

It was going to be comeback week soon and they were in the middle of a photoshoot. They had a super cool title track this time (also), one that will _hopefully_ get them their well-deserved first win, if Hyungwon thought so himself.

 

The brunet gazed at Hyunwoo talking to Jooheon at one corner of the room. The older was nodding and listening attentively while the younger explained something animatedly.

 

Hyungwon didn’t know _why_ but he seriously found it very annoying when Hyunwoo’s attention was focused on anyone else, but him. He couldn’t, for the life of him, get why he got so irritated when the older smiled sweetly at any of the other members while paying attention to what they were saying, nodding encouragingly during pauses. Hyungwon _knew_ Hyunwoo was just being the amazing leader he was and that he loved all members quite equally. The brunet loved them all pretty much equally too! But sharing Hyunwoo with the others just made him really… _mad.._ if he was being honest.

So mad that he often left the room when he saw any of the other members cling to the leader or see Hyunwoo have his arm draped around anyone else.

He really wanted to know _why_ he was feeling this way, kind of out of the blue.

Like he’d been feeling such annoyance for like two or three months now (or longer, he wasn’t sure), but for the past two weeks or so, it’d got worse. _Much_ worse.

Sharing Hyunwoo was _the worst_ thing in the world, in Hyungwon’s opinion anyway.

 

Once the blond stopped talking, Hyunwoo gave a firm nod and gently squeezed the younger’s hand. They held hands for some seconds, which felt like minutes to the brunet, who averted his gaze to his phone. He looked up again to see if they still shared skinship but saw their leader turn away from Jooheon. Only to walk in Hyungwon’s direction.

They locked eyes and the black haired male smiled cutely at him. For some reason Hyungwon’s heart sped up and started beating at an unhealthy pace. He smiled back and looked down at his phone again, this time actually unlocking the screen and opening Twitter, for lack of a better app.

He looked up again when he felt a heavy arm drape around his shoulders. He turned his face to the left to see Hyunwoo had sat down on the chair next to his, smiling at him brightly. His heart started pounding loudly again and his shoulders, for some reason, felt warm. Like more than the  usual warmth that the human body provided. It was a _delicious_ warmth, if that made sense. Like it would’ve made sense if it had been a girl Hyungwon liked but it was his Hyunwoo hyung who was causing it and that’s what puzzled him. But he just brushed away the thought and smiled back.

“Hi.” The older ruffled his hair softly and dropped the arm to his side again. Something like disappointment went through the brunet and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a millisecond before he schooled it back to normal.

“Hi!” He gave the older a tight lipped smile. “So, what were talking to Jooheon about?” His mouth ran before his brain could catch up and he internally cursed at himself. Hyunwoo would’ve told him himself.. if he’d wanted to.

 

“Nothing much. He was just giving me tips on… _something.._ ” Hyunwoo trailed away looking sheepish, breaking eye contact.

“Tips? Could I have helped?” Now Hyungwon was _definitely_ curious. What did Jooheon give him tips about that _Chae Hyungwon_ couldn’t help their leader with?! Okay, they were a multitude of things but nevermind those!

“I don’t think so. Not in this particular case anyway.” Hyunwoo muttered, pulling his phone out of his pant pocket.

“Oh.” _Sucks…_ “So, did his tips help?” Well, he _did_ want Hyunwoo’s problem, or whatever it was, to get solved, whether or not Hyungwon helped him through it.

“I don’t know. I haven’t tried them out yet. _But!”_ The older’s eyes lit up as he locked eyes with Hyungwon again, a smile playing on plump lips. “I’m gonna get a chance to try them out soon! _Really_ soon!”

Huh…

“That’s great, hyung! I hope whatever it is gets solved soon.” He squeezed the older’s shoulder and then dropped his hand.

“I hope so too.” Hyunwoo said, a kind of sad smile on his handsome face. The smile was perfect but Hyungwon wanted to erase that sadness.

Before Hyungwon could probe more, their manager called their attention.

“Hyunwoo, Hyungwon, you’re up.” He titled his head towards the place that Kihyun and Minhyuk had just vacated. It was their turn in front of the camera now. They were the last unit of the day and of the shoot.

Hyungwon got up, as did their leader and they walked together towards their manager to hand their phones over. Their manager pocketed them and gestured towards the far wall in front of which the cameraman and his equipments were placed at a distance.

 

Once they stood in front of the camera, the white wall behind them, the cameraman said, “Okay, this one will be a little different than the others. Hyunwoo-ssi, Hyungwon-ssi, if you both could face each other.”

They complied and turned towards each other. Hyungwon wiggled his eyebrows playfully and Hyunwoo smiled, his eyes squeezing into crescents.

It was Hyungwon’s most favourite smile in the whole universe. Not that he had told anyone that, let alone Hyunwoo himself.

“Okay now,Hyunwoo-ssi-“ the cameraman started only to get cut off as the makeup staff came and stood in between the two males. She immediately started applying more gloss on the black haired male’s already glossy plump lips, which started to looked even more.. _kissable_.

Hyungwon immediately shook his head vigorously and averted his gaze from those.. _breathtaking_ lips- _Stop it, Hyungwon! What the hell?!_

He looked down at the ground, confusion going through his head in full swing.

Then the makeup lady turned to the brunet and gave his face a proper look, nodding to indicate he needed no touch up and left the space in between them.

 

The two males turned to face each other again and Hyungwon’s eyes went to those _appealing_ -

 _Stop right there!_ He looked into Hyunwoo’s eyes instead which were smiling at him. More like teasing him, mocking him. Like the older knew what was going through Hyungwon’s mind.

“Okay! Let’s start this!” The cameraman sounded impatient. “Hyunwoo-ssi! Move closer to Hyunngwon-ssi. And.. cup the back of his neck with your right hand.”

Hyungwon’s eyes widened momentarily as Hyunwoo complied and moved closer, closing some of the distance between them and lifting his arm up so that his hand cupped the back of neck, right below his nape.

“Hyungwon-ssi! You do the same, with your left hand.”

Hyungwon’s arm shook a little and he legit grabbed the older’s backside of the neck in a somewhat tight grip. Hyunwoo smirked at him and Hyungwon relaxed the hold and looked away.

His heart was back at its weird antics and was beating wildly for some unknown reason.

“Look into each other’s eyes.”

They locked eyes and Hyungwon felt like he was drowning in those deep dark browns. Like he was swirling in a whirlpool, sinking to the seabed.

“Actually..” The cameraman started and Hyungwon broke the eye contact. Only for his eyes to land on those.. _sinful_ looking lips. Fine, the brunet admitted it: their leader had some seriously kissable lips. And had it been some girl, Hyungwon would have kissed those plump petals of goodness _ages ago._ But they belong to Hyunwoo and he found them _delicious_ and that _sucked!_ Why did _Hyunwoo_ need such lips?! But those lips completed the older’s good looks so, fine..

And this time, Hyungwon just _couldn’t_ tear his gaze away from those thick lips that looked so so _soft!_

His brain travelled far and he wondered, _How would they feel against mine?_ His eyes widened a little and he smacked himself internally.

 _Stop it! You like_ girls, _not_ guys!

He looked into the older’s eyes again, who was definitely smirking at him now. He rolled his eyes and then they heard, “No! It was perfect before! Hyunwoo-ssi! Look at Hyungwon-ssi and Hyungwon-ssi.. look.. uh.. _down._ Like before.” Then he added sheepishly, “At his lips.”

Hyungwon started to feel heat creep up his neck as his gaze landed on those lips he wanted to kiss more and more as the seconds passed. _Yup, I’m going insane. All these packed schedules are making me lose my mind… God, I feel like a perv…_

He willed himself to stop.. _blushing_ ( _What the fuck?!)_ as he continued looking at his hyung’s beautiful plump lips which were curled in a fond smile. He felt eyes on his face as he subconsciously clutched his leader’s neck tighter, much like before.

“Perfect! Stay like that!” And a flash went off followed by the familiar click of the camera.

“Okay next shot.”

Hyungwon relaxed and immediately backed away, not too far though. He stayed close only for the sake of the shoot, of course. He saw Hyunwoo smirk through his peripheral and he rolled his eyes again.

“Hyungwon-ssi!” The brunet was glad to hear the cameraman call his attention again.

He looked in the direction of the male behind the camera.

“Act like you are punching him. And Hyunwoo-ssi, act like-“

“I’m in pain? Got it!” Hyunwoo smiled as he gently shook his head.

“Yes!” The cameraman smiled sheepishly and they both got into position.

The flash went off again followed by the click.

 

Then they took few more shots and the shoot ended.

Hyungwon raised his hand for a hifive with the older, wanting to feel skinship.

But Hyunwoo just walked away, completely ignoring him.

And Hyungwon looked at his hand, the hand which didn’t get the HiFive it wanted. He clutched it with his other hand.

He looked up to see Hyunwoo silently laugh at the camera that was filming their making film and the brunet shook his head, smiling to himself.

 

***

 

Those stupidly beautiful pouty lips _just_ wouldn’t leave his mind all week. What with all the lip gloss his Hyunwoo hyung applied on them these days… And sucking that thick bottom lip into his mouth whenever he was in thought… Or nibbling on it till it turn red… Pouting them, making them look puffy and softer, when he had something going on in his mind that he wanted to resolve _right now!_ God…

Had he always done all that? Hyungwon didn’t know but they looked _awfully kissable_ and that was _very_ concerning because Hyunwoo was a _guy!_ And Hyungwon was straight! He should be imagining kissing _girls!_ _Not his leader hyung!_

The stupid idea of those plush lips pressing against his softly got him all tingly as it went around and around his head ever since that goddamn shoot!

God knows how much he’d stared at them like a total creep while Hyunwoo had nearly breached his personal space completely or when he was just talking to him about something.

 

It was official: He was definitely losing his mind…

 

And it _definitely_ didn’t help that Hyunwoo had got awfully touchy with him the same week too. Many times bringing his face _way too_ close to Hyungwon’s. And for some _stupid reason_ Hyungwon’s heart had raced _every single goddamn time! What the fuck was going on with him?! And Hyunwoo?!_ Was he _just_ noticing his hyung’s behaviour towards him? He had always been so _close_ to Hyungwon?! Or…? Was this all something new?!

 

They just had a week before comeback and Hyungwon was distracted. _Very_ distracted. To say the least.

 

He made yet another mistake and Hyunwoo frowned at him through the practice room’s mirror.

“Okay guys. Let’s take a break. Be back here in 10 minutes.” Sounds of affirmation went around the room. Then Hyunwoo’s gaze locked with his and for some reason Hyungwon gulped, his cheeks turning red. _It’s probably because of dancing so much…_ “Stay.” The younger nodded.

His friends dispersed, most of them walking out to the water cooler or the washroom. Jooheon and Changkyun sat at the extreme corner of the room, lost in their own worlds as they caught their breaths.

 

Hyunwoo walked towards him and Hyungwon walked forward too, meeting him halfway. The older grabbed his wrist, which burnt under the touch as warmth raced up his veins. _What the fuck…._ And pulled him gently towards the other extreme corner of the room and sat him down as he took a place next to the younger.

“What is it? You seem very distracted… Is everything okay?” Their leader looked at him with so much concern and care that Hyungwon’s heart probably melted. _Probably_.

‘ _You’re asking as if you have no hand in my distracted state…’_

“It’s nothing, hyung. Just nervous for the comeback.” He let out a nervous laugh as he stared at the floor.

Hyunwoo was sitting awfully close to him, their thighs pressing. Heat rolled from the older to him in waves and though they were both sweaty and panting, Hyungwon did not want the older to move away. Even when it was getting kind of uncomfortable because of stickiness of his skin underneath his sweatpants, the fabric of which was touching with Hyunwoo’s equally clothed thigh.

“You sure?” There he went, nibbling on his bottom lip again. Hyungwon almost sighed loudly. “Why don’t we run through the moves again, yes?” Hyunwoo stood up and offered a hand to Hyungwon, who raised one eyebrow. _I can get up on his own… why the added skin contact…_

But he took the hand and the second their palms touched, electricity ran through his whole arm and his chest felt warm and fuzzy. The younger’s eyes widened for a second and he looked down at their joined hands. Hyunwoo cleared his throat and dropped his hand.

Hyungwon tried to pretend disappointment didn’t course through him. Again.. He didn’t know _what the hell was going on with him!!!_

 

“Okay, take position. Follow my movements through the mirror.” Hyunwoo turned away from him and faced the wall full of large mirrors. He took his position and glanced at Hyungwon through the mirror who nodded and took the same stance as his leader.

“So, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Then 1 and 2 again. Repeat!” Hyunwoo counted the steps as he moved his body according to their dance routine. And Hyungwon as usual was mesmerised with how fluidly and gracefully the older moved. It was truly fascinating. But this time.. he stared a little longer and Hyunwoo cleared his throat.

Hyungwon recovered immediately and nodded, going slightly red.

He did the same steps and then made the mistake of locking eyes with Hyunwoo. Who shook his head in disapproval when Hyungwon messed up the step. It was an easy move but his stupid brain… stupid limbs.. He didn’t know anymore. He froze in the position of his messy move.

“Focus, Hyungwon! Here,” Hyunwoo walked behind him and corrected his arms with his hands, fingers grazing his bare skin. Heat coursed through his veins in heavenly waves and Hyungwon almost moaned. He kept his cool though, pretended like the skin on skin contact wasn’t affecting him the way it _obviously_ was. _God… save me…_

Then Hyunwoo crouched down, arms coming out to adjust his sweatpants clad legs. Hyungwon went rigid but Hyunwoo straightened immediately, patting his butt teasingly.

_Well, shit… that wasn’t necessary was it._

Hyungwon gave a quick backward glance at Jooheon and Changkyun but they weren’t even looking their way, too busy giggling at something on Jooheon’s phone together.

Hyunwoo walked in front of him and stood with his arms crossed at his chest.

“Okay. Look in the mirror. Do the move. Focus. I know you can do it.”

Hyungwon nodded at himself in the mirror, not even daring to look at Hyunwoo. He didn’t want to disappoint the older again… _He’ll think I’m messing up on purpose… or get really disappointed in me.. Or worse: worried. I can’t handle that.. Okay, Hyungwon! You can do this! You’re the lead dancer for very valid reasons!_

And Hyungwon moved, counting the beats in his head, perfectly nailing the part of the routine he was struggling with for the past three hours. Struggling all thanks to staring at Hyunwoo in the mirror than focusing on his own image and his own body.

“Good! Perfect! See! I knew you can do it! You’re an awesome dancer, Wonnie. When _you_ mess up, there has to be a good reason.”

 _‘Focusing on_ you _, instead on my own self is_ not _a good reason, hyung…’_

Hyungwon smiled sheepishly. Hyunwoo came around to his side and patted his back.

It was fine till that. Hyunwoo did that a lot with all the members. It was encouraging and motivating when the _leader_ appreciated your efforts.

And _then_ Hyunwoo gave him a side hug by snaking his hand around Hyungwon’s waist.

“Our lead dancer, Chae Hyungwon.” His winked at the younger and Hyungwon was.. gone. To God knows where. But he was _gone_. Hyungwon didn’t occupy this body anymore.

Hyungwon’s eyes widened before he expertly schooled his expression to neutral, just a small smile playing on his lips while his heart raced unhealthily. Hyunwoo pulled away and again that disappointment hit him but it didn’t last long because the older’s fingers trailed down his lower arm to his wrist before the hand dropped back to his side.

Tingles shot up and down his arm to all the way down his spine. The touch was ticklish but so.. _wow…_

Hyungwon locked eyes with his hyung who just smiled innocently, like he’d done nothing different.

The younger’s insides warmed and he just wanted to scream. _What’s happening?!_

 

Hyunwoo maintained eye contact with the younger as he said loudly, “Guys, assemble. Time to practice. One last round. Nail this, and then we can _finally_ head to bed.”

 

***

Before they knew it, it was comeback week.

And here they were, standing in their first music show for Dramarama.

Hyungwon had been hoping against hope that they’d win but he figured it was just wishful thinking.

Their scores were getting tallied and he’d stopped looking. It seemed pretty pointless to him anyway.

His feet looked much more interesting and his mind had already accepted that they’d lose. _As always._

But his heart wanted this win. Not for himself. For his team. For _Son Hyunwoo_ , the best leader in the whole K-Pop industry, if he said so himself.

“And the winner is…”

Hyungwon just wished it got over. He tuned out the winner’s name and just continued staring at his shoes, lost in thought. Their outfits for this comeback were really cool. _Hyunwoo would blame himself if we lose this time also… Even Jooheon and Hoseok hyung.. Please God, make us win just once…_

Suddenly he felt someone wrap him in a hug and his head jerked up.

“Congratulations to Monsta X!” His head turned to the side with a jerk as he saw his team accept the award.

He was pretty sure he was dreaming but Hoseok’s arms around him were pretty tight. Soon Jooheon joined in and he hugged them back awkwardly, eyes on Hyunwoo.

Their leader was crying, tears running his chubby cheeks like crystals, his eyes shimmering like diamonds.

 

_He looks so gorgeous even when he is crying… How unfair…_

 

Jooheon grabbed the mike and started talking, thanking their fans and their team and their staff.

Kihyun was crouching on the ground, fingers pressed against his eyes to prevent more tears from falling down.

His eyes went from member to member and soon his own filled with tears which leaked down freely, down his cheeks, trickling down his neck onto his clothes, falling on the ground. His eyes were stuck on Hyunwoo, who finally took the mike and thanked everyone.

 

Hyungwon was sure it was all a dream. His brain stopped processing and tears of happiness and disbelief flowed down his cheeks and all his teammates’ cheeks too.

 

Only one thought went through his mind when Hyunwoo finally met his eyes.

 

_‘Beautiful.’_

 

*

Getting drunk with another music show the next day was _not_ a good idea. Hyunwoo knew that. But it was their _first win ever!_ So Kihyun, Hoseok and Hyunwoo decided it was okay to let loose. For just one night.

They had already pre-recorded their performance for the next day some days ago, along with today’s performance. So they just had to reach the venue at 1pm or so. They could afford to wake up a little late.

Anyway, the staff and even their CEO had joined them and they’d been congratulated by all their families and friends and their colleagues.

It was _fine_ to let loose!

 

So here they guys were, in their dorm now, still getting drunk. And playing loud music as they danced to it crazily.

Thank God their dorm was in a secluded place with no other residences around for some miles. Just a departmental store in front of their building. That’s it.

It was 1am and they weren’t done partying.

Hyunwoo was sitting down, back resting against the foot of their couch, head lolling back as he took another swig directly from the champagne bottle.

_Hyunwoo… take it easy._

He listened to himself with a scowl and kept the bottle down. He looked forward to see Hyungwon dancing between Hoseok and Minhyuk, his shirt unbuttoned all the way to reveal his toned milky white body with the chiseled abs that came and went from time to time. This time they were there, in all their glory and in full view. For Hyunwoo’s eyes to feast on.

God.. it was a sight to see Hyungwon lose himself and dance like that. He still had his black jacket on, hanging open. Hyunwoo sighed dreamily as his eyes devoured Hyungwon as best as they could in his drunk state.

‘Sexy’ did not sum it up. Hyungwon was _godly._ Hyunwoo was smitten. He gave a drunken chuckle as his head lolled back again when he saw Minhyuk trail his fingers up and down Hyungwon’s naked front.

What had Hyunwoo got himself into.. falling for the _only_ completely straight guy in their whole group. He could’ve fallen for the maknaes but that wouldn’t have gone well anyway because those two were _so obviously_ smitten with each other, though still oblivious to each other’s feelings for each other.

He could’ve fallen for Hoseok or Kihyun but he was glad he hadn’t because it would’ve been heartbreak either way because _those two_ were also so madly in love with each other but again.. oblivious to each other’s feelings.

 _Idiots…_ Hyunwoo rolled his eyes.

Then there was Minhyuk. He could’ve fallen for him. It would’ve been easy. Hell, he had even tried falling for him. Minhyuk was, anyway, pretty touchy-feely.

Showhyuk stans (yes, he knew all about their ships names, don’t ask. Hyunwoo and the guys weren’t blind to what their fans talked about on SNS.) were beyond happy but Hyunwoo just didn’t _feel_ anything with Minhyuk! God knows he’d tried hard to fall for him. But it’d been pretty platonic for him and eventually Min had figured Hyunwoo wasn’t serious about starting anything between them and had moved on.

Min had tried to flirt with Hyungwon and the others a lot. Hyungwon had point blank told him he was straight _as fuck, ‘Min, you already know that. Stop wasting your time.’_.

There, Hyunwoo’s slight hope had gone. Completely utterly shattered.

Without knowing what to do, (more than a year had passed since he fell for his group mate) he’d finally gone to Jooheon to talk about his ‘problem’.

He could’ve gone to Hoseok but he was closer and more comfortable to talk about such things with their second youngest. He just _got_ him! No other way to explain what they had.

Jooheon had told him, “Hyung, _nobody_ is _completely_ straight. Well, in my opinion anyway. I don’t know. But see, here you have Hyungwon who is pretty close to you. Y’all hang out _a lot_ . Have been rooming together since trainee days and even in hotels now. Even now you share a room though Hoseok hyung is there too. But still, I know for a _fact_ that when you hang out with someone else instead of him, he gets pouty. He wants your attention. We all do. But he _really_ wants it. He doesn’t like sharing you, hyung. None of us do. But Hyungwon in particular hates it. Like he sulks for full fifteen minutes when you tell him you’re busy and you can’t spend time with him. He doesn’t even get that sulky when Hoseok hyung says no to him!”

Well, to Hyunwoo that had been an _eye opener._

“So, hyung, I’d say capitalise on that. Play the game with him. Play hard to get. Confuse him. I know he is our best friend but you’re my best friend too. I don’t want to you to give up before you even freaking try!” Jooheon had held him tight by the shoulders at that, looking into his eyes with determination. And Hyunwoo had truly felt he’d had a chance. He’d felt determined too. That was Jooheon’s power. He was _awesome_ at pep talk.

“So here’s what you gotta do…” Hyunwoo had heard intently as Jooheon explained how to make Hyungwon fall for him.

Even before their photoshoot for the comeback, he’d talked with Jooheon about exactly this. Jooheon and Hyunwoo had both ‘suggested’ the poses Hyungwon and Hyunwoo could try to the cameraman and to their good luck, he’d loved the ideas.

Even the makeup artist remembered to touch up Hyunwoo’s lips just like he’d asked her to, _right at the start of the shoot, right in front of Hyungwon._ And Hyunwoo felt it had worked because Hyungwon was definitely focused on his lips. He’d got that hazy look in his eyes as he’d eyed his lips with.. _want_.. if Hyunwoo let himself think that ahead.

Jooheon felt it had worked too and Hyunwoo had done what his friend had said: he’d _capitalised_ on the fact that Hyungwon _just might_ _find_ his lips attractive and Hyunwoo wasn’t dumb. He _knew_ his lips were one of his best features, that made girls _and_ guys go crazy. He was just thankful that it worked on Hyungwon too because he was _sure_ he’d seen the younger stare at his lips _way longer_ than necessary. He wasn’t blind and he was sure he couldn’t have deluded himself _that_ many times!

 

But now seeing Hyungwon dance so sexily, with such sultry moves on, his body fully on display thanks to only his fully unbuttoned white shirt hanging on his shoulders and his trousers hanging so low on his waist, made Hyunwoo feel like he had _no chance_ with a guy like him.

The jacket was on the couch near Hyunwoo’s head now. Placed there by Hoseok after Hyungwon had shrugged it off.

He looked up at the younger again, because Hyunwoo was a masochist apparently. His mouth watered at the sight of the younger making sexy faces according to the song playing and moving in just the right ways that made Hyunwoo lose his already lost mind.

His head rolled back again and he picked up the champagne bottle near him to take another swig.

He saw Jooheon eye him with concern but he brushed it off with the flick of his other hand which wasn’t busy holding the bottle tightly.

He eyed Hyungwon again, this time Kihyun and Minhyuk grinding against the younger as another sexy song came on.

Maybe Jooheon was right: _nobody_ was completely straight.

But it didn’t matter what Hyungwon’s sexuality was. He didn’t want anything past friendship with Hyunwoo and that fact hurt like a _bitch!_

 

As Hyunwoo continued wallowing in self-pity, just about ready to call it a night and head to his shared room, Hyungwon came and plopped down next to him.

“Hyung!” He smiled at the older drunkenly as he grabbed the bottle from Hyunwoo’s hands. Hyungwon took a big swig and pulled the bottle away from his lips. And let out a big sigh.

“Hyung. You looked so gorgeous today you know! Even when you cried. So beautiful! Even now! Wow!” Hyungwon drunkenly slurred, his eyes lit up brightly though, as he placed the bottle on the floor, beyond their reach, on the floor where the couch bent for the armrest to come in.

Hyunwoo’s eyes widened. He was _sure_ he wasn’t _that_ drunk that he’d dreamt those words. Hyungwon had really said them.

Unless Hyunwoo had passed out from all the alcohol.

But he _knew_ he hadn’t drunk _that_ much. Hyungwon was definitely drunker than him.

And he proved it by grabbing his shirt collar, pulling Hyunwoo closer. His heart started beating faster as the distance between their bodies suddenly lessened.

“So beautiful. It’s unfair, hyung! Why are you always so gorgeous?!” Hyungwon’s eyes bored into his own. “Why am I not like that?! I’m always so behind in everything! Talent, looks, vocals, dancing. I hate it!”

 _The hell?!_ Did Hyungwon _really_ think of himself that lowly?!

Hyunwoo wasn’t having it. No way.

“Hyungwon. You’re awesome. You’re perfect! You’re good at everything! Every one of those things you listed, you’re the best in them! I mean it! Our label isn’t fair, that’s why you don’t get to showcase all your talents properly!” He looked into his angel’s eyes with determination in his own. He _had to_ let Hyungwon know how awesome he is. It’s a matter of.. rising his love’s self-esteem! Exactly! And being the best leader possible too! That too! Yeah!

“Hyungie! You really think so?!” Hyungwon squished his cheeks with both his hands.

“Look at you! So cute!” He cooed at the older, whose heart was sprinting like that Usain Bolt dude. Hyungwon leaned forward and kissed him softly on his nose and then his forehead. Hyunwoo closed his eyes at the feeling of soft lips, his heart banging in his chest.

Then Hyungwon let go and leaned back and Hyunwoo opened his eyes. “Okay! If _you_ say so, I’ll believe you! I’m awesome! Right?”

“Definitely!” Hyunwoo smiled widely at the younger who beamed.

“Yay! Now come here!” He pulled Hyunwoo close and buried his face in his neck.

Hyunwoo tentatively wrapped an arm around Hyungwon’s waist, pulling him closer, all the while screaming inside his head. If he was dreaming, he _did not_ want to wake up. He’d legit murder _anyone_ who woke him up from this. Unless that someone was Hyungwon. Yeah, then the plan to murder stood cancelled.

Hyungwon snuggled closer to him and hummed in satisfaction.

He nuzzled the older’s neck, inhaling his natural scent and the slight lingering smell of deodorant.

And sweat. Because Hyunwoo sweat a lot. But he was sure he didn’t smell bad. Not one bit. Hopefully.

Or else it would be embarrassing, what with his angel pretty much sniffing him.

All his worries vanished when Hyungwon murmured against his neck, “You always smell so heavenly. How…?”

Hyunwoo’s heart thudded in his throat but he just shrugged.

Hyungwon chuckled lowly, pressing himself even closer to his hyung.

Hyunwoo closed his eyes, taking in this moment, sealing it in his mind forever.

Life could _not_ get better than it was in this moment.

But boy, was Hyunwoo wrong. And Hyunwoo was glad he was wrong.

Because just then Hyungwon had started kissing his neck. Soft lips touched the hot skin of his neck. Starting with small feather-like kisses, ranging to ones which felt like Hyungwon was trying to suck a hickey onto his skin.

Not that Hyunwoo minded. Nuh uh.

To say he was shocked was an understatement, as Hyungwon kissed his neck up and down, his tongue peeking out to lick here and there. Hyunwoo’s skin was on fire as Hyungwon’s kisses got desperate. The younger dug his fingers into Hyunwoo’s thick luscious hair, lightly pulling at the soft strands as he licked and sucked and kissed his neck.

Hyunwoo’s eyes rolled back and his breathing quickened as Hyungwon pressed closer, no space between their bodies, except their shirts. The older’s head fell back, giving more access to Hyungwon to taste his skin.

If Hyunwoo’s shirt had been open like the younger’s, he would’ve had the luck of experiencing more skin on skin contact. But he’d stupidly let it almost completely buttoned.

But thankfully he’d opened three of the top buttons. Because Hyungwon had started licking and sucking on his collarbones.

Hyunwoo hissed as the younger’s tongue licked his tanned skin before Hyungwon sucked lightly at the spots he had tasted with his tongue.

_God… I don’t want to wake up from this. Don’t let his end. Please._

Hyunwoo moaned a little as Hyungwon left his collarbones to suck at the soft flesh of his earlobe. That skillful mouth sucked and nibbled at his ear’s outershell and earlobe. Hyunwoo was losing all his inhibitions as he tightened his grip around Hyungwon’s waist, pulling him even closer, wishing his shirt disappeared. Hyungwon shifted and was pretty much straddling him at this moment, his knees on either side of Hyunwoo‘s thighs as the older had his legs extended in front him.

Hyungwon nipped at his earlobe and then ran his tongue slowly over the skin of his ear and Hyunwoo moaned again. He felt himself hardening in his pants.

Then the younger took his lips to the sensitive skin behind his ear, sucking lightly on the spot. Those soft pillowy lips opened a little and the tip of the younger’s tongue peaked out. The tip traced the older’s ear’s outer shell languidly, going down, slowly tracing the skin below his ear, going down to his prominent jawline.

Hyungwon licked Hyunwoo’s jawline once before sucking on the skin there, mouth going back and forth till his chin and back and repeating the motion. Hyunwoo’s breath hitched at the feeling of his love’s lips so close to his mouth, the feeling of his mouth exquisite on his hot skin. He ran his hands up and down Hyungwon’s back and Hyungwon clutched his hair tightly in return, letting out a small moan of his own.

Then the brunet diverted his attention to Hyunwoo’s right cheek. He placed a soft kiss on the equally soft skin. “Soft!” Hyungwon exclaimed, excitement lit his eyes up before he giggled like a small child. Hyunwoo’s heart filled with fondness and he reached out a hand to brush off a section of hair that had fallen into the younger’s eyes.

Hyungwon smiled up at him, all teeth, a cute grin, at the older’s action.

Then he went back to covering his cheek with kisses, soft, dry, wet, quick, long, tongue peeking out at times to taste the skin. Hyunwoo smiled to himself, blushing as the younger clung to him, one arm going around Hyunwoo’s waist as he leaned in, lips moving closer and closer to his lips.

And then Hyungwon’s lips were mere centimetres away from Hyunwoo’s lips. The older licked his lips nervously as Hyungwon eyed them, tongue coming out to lick at his own lips. Their faces were as close as they’d ever been. Hyunwoo felt like he was dying from how his heart was beating at supersonic speed, heating his skin up like he had a fever.

It felt like forever passed in those few heated moments after which Hyungwon leaned closer, their lips almost touching. Hyunwoo held his breath, watching the younger’s lips, hoping and against hope they would press against his.

 

But… the Goddess of luck hated him. What other reason could there be for what happened next?

Because Hyungwon sighed loudly and shook his head slowly, at himself it seemed, and resignation filled his features as he moved back, widening the previously closing distance.

Disappointment coursed through Hyunwoo in thick imposing waves, his heart plummeting, and he sighed, looking down at his trousers-clad thighs.

 _Too good to be true…_ He closed his eyes as his heart shattered little by little. He was being stupid… he already got so much from the younger. Things he never thought he’d ever get..

But Hyunwoo.. was selfish. He wanted more. He was never selfish.. but when it came to Hyungwon.. that’s why he almost never let the younger hang out with anybody else by taking him out himself!

Then Hyungwon pulled his chin up with his thumb and index finger, locking eyes with him.

He shook his head firmly from side to side like a child, with a mischievous glint in his eyes and kissed him.

On the corner of his mouth. Lips more on his cheek than his lips.

Hyunwoo sighed, eyes closed, as frustration grew inside him.

Hyungwon kissed him there again and again and again, then moved his lips further away from Hyunwoo’s to spread kisses on his cheek again.

 _Hyungwon….._ Hyunwoo wanted to groan in frustration. What was the boy trying to do?!

 

Then his mouth lowered. Teeth grazed the skin of Hyunwoo’s jaw, lightly nipping him there.

_Such a tease…._

Hyungwon’s mouth gradually went down Hyunwoo’s throat, kissing and licking, sucking enough to form bruises on the golden tanned skin.

Hyunwoo’s eyes were shut in bliss as he bent back his head to give Hyungwon more access to his neck, breathing uneven and shaky, as Hyungwon’s hand slithered in between their bodies and unbuttoned Hyunwoo’s shirt slowly, one button at a time, fingers brushing against the revealed skin in its wake, leaving hot trails which burnt his veins with delicious heat.

  


Hyunwoo knew all this was too good to be true. Hyunwoo knew his luck wasn’t this good. Not good enough. Definitely not good enough for Hyungwon to take it further.

Hyungwon kissed his neck once, a smooch really, his fingers tracing his pecs languidly and the skin below it which he had revealed thanks to the unbuttoning of the older’s shirt.

Before letting out a drunk chuckle and groaning. Hyunwoo went rigid momentarily then relaxed when Hyungwon gave his earlobe a final suck, his palms resting on his bare pecs.

 

Then Hyungwon stopped kissing and sucking his skin.

No nibbling, no marking.

His touches stopped too.

 

Because Hyungwon had passed out.

 

Hyungwon had fallen asleep, head resting in the crook of Hyunwoo’s neck, little puffs of air hitting his skin, his arms wrapping around Hyunwoo’s waist.

 

Hyunwoo sighed loudly, eyes opening, cursing his luck. God, he wanted _so much_ more… But okay. He couldn’t even digest the fact that _this_ had happened in the first place! A day ago he wouldn’t have believed if someone had told him to his face that this was going to happen.

He would’ve laughed a sad laugh and walked away.

But now… His heart was still racing as his brain registered what had happened.

He tightly wrapped his arms around Hyungwon’s body, keeping him close. He felt Hyungwon grin against his neck, before he pressed his lips against the skin there and giggling drunkenly. He wasn’t fully asleep yet huh…

Hyunwoo lightly pressed his lips on the younger’s forehead, full of love and nothing more.

He sighed once more as he stood up slowly, Hyungwon whining loudly but still clinging to him tightly.

He bent down a little to lock one arm around the back of the younger’s knees, another arm tightly holding onto his shoulders as he picked him up bridal style, pulling him close to his chest, making Hyungwon gasp and tightly wrap his arms around his neck. Hyunwoo smiled to himself.

Then something struck him and he turned around. All his teammates had probably seen everything that had gone down.

But all around he saw the guys wrapped up in their own worlds, not paying him or Hyungwon even the slightest bit of attention.

Jooheon locked eyes with him though, his eyes widened and then going to Hyungwon in his arms and then back to Hyunwoo’s face.

Before he could say or do anything, Changkyun grabbed Jooheon by his shirt collar and smashed their lips together. Jooheon’s eyes widened again, becoming as big as Hyunwoo had seen them go.

But then Jooheon closed his eyes and relaxed, digging his hands into their maknae’s hair and Hyunwoo averted his gaze.

To see Hoseok take a drunk Kihyun to the main vocalist’s shared room. And then shut the door behind him.

Minhyuk had already gone inside their room, calling it a night, after calling out a loud, “Goodnight, bitches!”

Hyunwoo’s attention went back to Hyungwon as the younger snuggled more into him, a sleepy smile plastered on his face. He had gone back to sleep.

“God, Hyungwon-ah.. You’re gonna kill me one day…”

Hyunwoo sighed and shook his head fondly as he heaved his angel higher and closer, securing him properly in his arms.

And walking straight into their shared room.

 

*

Hyunwoo gently placed Hyungwon on his own bed, the lower bunk, and wrapped a blanket over the younger. He’d sleep on the upper bunk which was Hyungwon’s bed.

Hyungwon hummed, that smile still playing on his pillowy pink lips, as he curled onto himself, hugging Hyunwoo’s pillow close.

Hyunwoo quickly removed his shirt and pants and put on some cargo shorts. He never wore anything on his upper body anyway, when he went to bed.

Before climbing up the metal ladder to Hyungwon’s upper bunk, he sat down on his bed and caressed Hyungwon’s cheek with the tips of his fingers as lightly as possible without having the younger waking up.

But it didn’t matter because Hyungwon grabbed his wrist sleepily, the grip surprisingly strong. Hyunwoo’s eyes widened and his heart rate quickened.

Hyungwon groggily opened his eyes a little, squinting up at him.

“Stay. Don’t go,” Hyungwon rasped out in a sleep induced voice that was rough and deeper than usual. A shiver went down Hyunwoo’s spine at his voice and he groaned internally. _Stop affecting me so much!!!!_

When Hyunwoo tried to detach his hand from the younger’s grip, Hyungwon wouldn’t let him go.

“No. Stay. With me. Please..” He added as he stared up at him, eyes puffy, a slight pout on his extremely kissable lips.

Hyunwoo just couldn’t comply with Hyungwon’s request. No matter how sincere or how alcohol and tiredness induced it was.

Because Hyunwoo didn’t know if he could control his urges with Hyungwon so close to his body, all wrapped around him like a creeper vine, touching their bare bodies together. Yeah, Hyunwoo had slipped the younger out of his unbuttoned shirt. Hyungwon just had his trousers on. He had removed his belt too. No need for that while he slept.

They used to sleep with each other, platonically of course, before. And Hyunwoo’s feelings were just starting out then… so it hadn’t been too much of a big deal.

Actually, Hyunwoo had broken the routine because sleeping with Hyungwon so close to him frequently was what _made_ him fall so irrevocably in love with him in the first place!

Now, sleeping with Hyungwon would mean Hyunwoo knowingly walking off the cliff to fall to his death.

Hyungwon whined when Hyunwoo didn’t comply immediately. He grabbed the older and pulled, hard.

Hyunwoo tumbled onto the bed, landing on top of Hyungwon. The next thing he knew Hyungwon was underneath him, much like what his imagination conjured up frequently, their faces extremely close, their breaths mingling.

Hyunwoo stopped breathing as he stared into Hyungwon’s eyes, sleepy but still kind of alert. His eyes shined, the light from the dim night light reflecting off of those dark brown oceans he loved so much.

“That’s better,” Hyungwon gasped as his arms came out to wrap around Hyunwoo’s bare torso, one hand sliding down his spine making him shiver. “Now roll over. You’re crushing me, hyung… Not that I mind, but I need to sleep…” He slurred sleepily, eyes half open, trying to stay conscious.

Hyunwoo immediately complied and rolled to the side and Hyungwon slithered from underneath him and then put an arm around the older’s waist and pulled him closer. He buried his face into the strong chiseled chest of his leader and snuggled in, sighing happily. Hyunwoo was rigid, shock going through him, his body heating wherever their skins touched. Which was.. kinda everywhere… except their legs, thanks to Hyungwon still wearing his suit’s trousers. Because Hyunwoo didn’t have the guts to change him out of it. Not anymore. He’d done it before, _way_ before he caught feelings for the stunning visual.

Hyungwon shifted even closer, his face completely squished against his hard chest. His veins burned with electricity and Hyunwoo just wanted to… roll back over the younger and do dirty things to him. Dirty but _really_ sexy things.  

_Shit… please don’t get hard, Hyunwoo…._

Thankfully that unruly muscle listened to him. ‘ _Not that I mind, but I need to sleep.’_

Hyunwoo’s widened as the words Hyungwon had said when he been on top of him echoed throughout his head and heart.

 _Hyungwon… didn’t mind…? What the hell…_ Hyungwon patted his butt twice. “Sleep, hyung.” Hyunwoo forced himself to relax and calm his breathing as Hyungwon cuddled with him, their limbs tangled. His body was on fire and he was thankful yet disappointed at the same time that Hyungwon still had pants on. He wanted _and_ didn’t want more skin contact.

 

He lay awake for a while. Maybe an hour or two.

Eventually, somehow, probably due to the tiredness and the alcohol and his adrenaline dying down, Hyunwoo slept soundly and deeply with Hyungwon, his love, his angel, all wrapped up in his arms.

 

***

 


	2. Oh, What The Hell...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please ignore any typos or errors I have made.  
> I’ll read it later on and correct them, if any

Their promotions had finally got over and though they hadn’t won again, Hyunwoo was satisfied with their comeback, the lucky one which had finally given them their first win ever.

Lord knew they had deserved it.

Yesterday had been their last music show performance and Hyungwon had insisted on sleeping with Hyunwoo next to him again. And Hyunwoo hadn’t had the heart to deny the younger of anything. To hell with his sanity. He could bear the pain and desire for a week. Then he’d push the younger away again. He couldn’t focus on his days with his unrequited feelings twirling in his head along with the intense desire to just kiss Hyungwon and make him his own and his own _only._

 

Hyunwoo woke up to Hyungwon cuddled up next to him, their limbs still tangled.

Their _bare limbs_ tangled. Huh…?

Hyunwoo had apparently slept like a log because he definitely hadn’t noticed Hyungwon waking up in the extremely early hours of morning to dispose off his pants. And then curling back to Hyunwoo’s side, tangling their limbs again.

He only had boxers on now and Hyunwoo had woke up because… Hyungwon’s morning wood nudged his thigh.

_Shit…_

Hyunwoo’s mind played mini clips of how he could just gently flip Hyungwon over and carefully lower his boxers to suck him off.

 

But… it wasn’t right… Was it?

 

He looked down at the younger’s member and his mouth went dry at the sight of the long girth straining against the blue fabric of his boxers.

But… that length… it just seemed to call to him.

 

Before he knew it, he had acted upon his desires and had gently flipped Hyungwon over, the boy sleeping so deeply that he didn’t protest at all.

 

He got in between the younger’s pale smooth legs, which he spread widely, extremely carefully. His fingers lightly brushed the younger’s exposed calves, his head bending down to lay soft kisses up and down the smooth skin. His mouth moved further down, placing feather-like kisses along the way on the milky skin, and he sucked on the younger’s soft toes one by one, eyes closing. He grazed his teeth over the skin on the underside of the big toe before diverting his gaze to the straining long girth inside Hyungwon’s deep blue boxers. He kissed the big toe once, before letting his fingers gently go up to the waistband of that offending garment he wanted to strip the younger of.

 

_Okay.. now to just take those boxers down…_

He slowly, _extremely_ gently and cautiously, lowered the blue boxers bit by bit and Hyungwon’s member sprang out, standing proud and erect, leaking some precome onto the skin of his chiseled abdomen.

 _God…_ Hyunwoo shivered as he lowered the boxers to mid-thigh.

The whole thing felt _so wrong_ to Hyunwoo. But he wanted to taste Hyungwon _so badly_ for _such_ a long time, that he was _literally_ drooling looking at that long length, calling him to taste, to suck, to feel its heavy weight on his tongue.

He leaned forward and gently licked off that single large drop of precome which had fallen on the younger’s abdomen. His eyes shut in bliss as the little taste of that delicious cum made his head spin. He _had_ to get more of that taste. He lightly placed a kiss on the place he had licked and straightened to admire that long length standing so proud and erect, as if challenging Hyunwoo to give in and just _taste_.

 

His eyes raked the younger male’s sleeping form and then eye-fucked that long member, making him gulp in awe at how big it was.

_Wonder how it’ll feel inside me… God, Hyunwoo.. that’s for later. It might never happen anyway._

He moved up the younger’s body and bent over the younger, their faces some inches apart. He stared at Hyungwon’s thick puffy lips and licked his own.

_God, Hyunwoo what are you doing…_

He leaned down, closing the distance between their faces as his lips barely brushed Hyungwon’s. He sighed before placing a soft kiss on those plush, enticingly plump lips. He felt electricity course through his lips though Hyungwon hadn’t kissed him back.

He felt Hyungwon unconsciously pucker his lips as he slightly raised his head for more, his eyebrows furrowing a bit, his eyes closed the whole time.

_What is this boy dreaming about…_

Hyunwoo gently kissed him on his soft lips again and then pulled away. He admired the brunet’s delicate angelic features and leaned down again to let the tip of his tongue trace the younger’s bottom lip carefully. Hyungwon let out a deep sigh and shifted on the bed slightly.

Hyunwoo pulled back completely and quickly looked at the digital clock on the bedside stand.

5:00am.

 _Too_ early to start the day. Especially since they had a whole week off after their comeback, all to themselves, to do whatever they pleased for full seven days! Then they’d have to start practising and preparing for their Showcase Concert. But this one week was all theirs!

 

Hyunwoo turned back to see Hyungwon sleeping peacefully, a little smile playing on his gorgeous face, and he planted soft feather-like kisses all over the younger’s face. On his close eyelids. On the apples of his cheeks, on his cute nose. On the corners of his mouth. Lastly, he pressed a lovingly kiss on the younger’s forehead.

Hyungwon’s smile became bigger and a happy hum escaped his mouth.

Hyunwoo smiled to himself and lowered himself down the brunet’s body.

Till he was face to face with that delicious cock which was waiting for his love and attention.

He lowered himself down slowly, mouth opening bit by bit and tongue peaking out. The extremely soft light coming through the curtains of their windows made the precome on the tip shine. Hyunwoo felt himself salivating and his eyes closed as thoughts of experiencing that _fine_ flavour again raced through his mind. He let out a tiny moan in anticipation and opened his eyes and bent his head down.

 

He gently licked off the tiny glistening beads of precome which were shimmering on the tip of the head.

The younger’s taste made him high for a full second as the flavour covered the whole surface of his pink tongue, before his eyes widened.

He immediately looked up and saw that Hyungwon was still fast asleep, snoring lightly, totally oblivious to what Hyunwoo was doing.

_Okay… Just do it. Make sure you don’t wake him up._

He lowered his mouth again, eyes never leaving Hyungwon’s sleeping form. He _cannot_ get caught.

He had no idea what he’d do if he got caught… Just the thought chilled him to his bones.

 

His mouth closed over the tip of the length, his eyes trained on Hyungwon’s face. The younger gave no reaction.

Hyunwoo relaxed and sucked on the head softly, his eyes closing involuntarily as he suckled that red tinged tip, heavenly precum coating the surface of his tongue yet again.

Hyunwoo let out an almost inaudible moan at the near orgasmic taste and then his eyes immediately shot up again to see if he had woken up the younger.

Hyungwon was still sleeping deeply, completely unbothered.

 _Good_.

Hyunwoo gave the shaft a long tentative lick, from the balls to the very tip, and took the length down inch by inch, slowly bobbing his head up and down as his tongue came out to play with the well-veined shaft.

He wished for that long and thick length to give up soon and shoot delectable cum down his throat, and give him the delicacy that he craved.

He increased the pace and pressure slightly, getting a little impatient for his crush’s taste.

His tongue dipped into the slit at the tip and he closed his eyes in bliss as he got another high-inducing flavour to caress his taste buds. He really _was_ far gone, drunk on all things Hyungwon.

He left kisses all over the surface of the length, from the tip to the balls, his hand coming out to gently caress the cock, fingers tracing the bulging veins. He licked the slit again before bending his head lower to suckle on the younger’s balls softly, massaging the sacs with his tongue, admiring their softness as he sucked a little harder.

He seriously was in heaven right now, doing what he’d wanted to do for over a year. It was _much_ better than anything he had imagined. He never thought cum could taste so divine, that a cock could make him salivate and crave for so much _more_ . He never thought Hyungwon would taste _this good._ He was just _too_ madly in love with the younger.

He exhaled in pure satisfaction as he continued suckling those soft sacs slowly, enjoying their soft weight on his tongue.

 

Just then Hyungwon shifted a little, his head turning to the side, eyebrows furrowing a little.

Hyunwoo froze at the movement and quickly glanced up. Within a second or two, Hyungwon’s face relaxed and Hyunwoo let out a long exhale.

He went back to work as he latched his mouth onto the tip again. He suckled the head softly and started bobbing his head up and down the length again, his eyes shutting at the taste of exquisite precome now dribbling from the slit, down the length, in a constant flow, filling his mouth and driving him crazy.

His mind blanked as he lapped up the liquid and seeked more by repeatedly dipping his tongue into the slit, almost all thoughts of being discreet flying out his hazy mind as lust took over.

 

Then his eyes opened to land on the younger’s cute brownish pink hole. He popped off of the shaft and bent his head down further, his lips in line with Hyungwon’s entrance.

A shiver went through his spine as he stared at the hole, which fluttered when he lightly blew on it. His tongue peeked out and he gave the entrance a tender lick. Hyungwon went rigid above him and Hyunwoo paused for a second before lapping at the cute hole again then licking at the rim slowly with the tip of his wet muscle. He let out a moan as felt his own member begin to harden.

His hand went up and the fingers traced the shaft softly, languidly as his tongue went on licking at the entrance. Hyungwon’s legs twitched a little and Hyunwoo closed his eyes as he started sucking softly at the rim, his hand slowly pumping the delicious length. Hyungwon let out a soft whine and turned his head to the side, his breathing getting heavy and uneven.

Hyunwoo continued pumping him as he sucked at his rim and his sacs alternatively. He kept one sac in his mouth and gently suckled it, a moan ripping through his throat, making Hyungwon slightly jerk beneath his touch.

He let go off the sac, his hand never stopping its languid pumping.

He kissed the entrance softly, watching it flutter with hungry eyes before gently pushing the tip of his tongue inside the hole, slowly sliding his wet muscle in and out, fucking that cute hole with his tongue gradually. His eyes shut again as he rimmed Hyungwon as best as he could without waking him up, the rich flavour of Hyungwon coating his tongue.

Honestly, he had no idea how Hyungwon slept through all of this but he must have been _really_ wasted _and_ drained yesterday, thanks to it being the last promotion of their comeback, to be sleeping even now after what Hyunwoo had done and was still doing to him.

Hyungwon moaned a little, his eyes squeezing as Hyunwoo increased the pace of his tongue and his hand.

He brought his tongue out and gave one final lick at the entrance which fluttered at the soft touch and then kissed it lightly.

‘ _Later.’_ Hyunwoo smiled at it like it could actually see and understand him before diverting his attention to the length in his hand.

He replaced his hand with his mouth and started bobbing his head up and down the well-veined thick girth again.

 

“Hyung…” Hyungwon whined lowly and Hyunwoo froze for the second time before his mind went, ‘ _Fuck it. We’ll face the consequences later.’_

He saw Hyungwon’s legs tremble and figured the younger was getting close.

 _Just a few more sucks, and you’ll let go._ _And I’ll get that one thing I have been craving since forever._

Hyunwoo hummed in anticipation as he picked up the pace, his head bobbing up and down the length enthusiastically, his tongue working wonders on the underside of the shaft.

“Hyunwoo hyung… Oh my God…” Hyungwon murmured sleepily, his drowsy voice catching Hyunwoo’s ears.

He stilled again for a second to look up. The younger’s eyes were still closed, not showing any indication that he had opened them. His eyebrows furrowed as his face scrunched up in pleasure.

Hyunwoo returned his focus on the length and gave the tip a harsh suck, the precome’s taste exploding in his mouth.

He moaned silently, willing the length to just ‘ _give up already!’_

“So good.. Hyunwoo…” Hyungwon whined sleepily, slipping between consciousness and unconsciousness as his head turned to the side again.

He let out a little gasp as the older sucked harder while his tongue roughly licked the member, taking the whole length into his mouth.

He almost gagged on it when Hyungwon bucked his hips a little, pushing his length into Hyunwoo’s hot mouth, to his throat.

 

After a few more sucks and licks, Hyungwon finally let go, orgasm rippling through his body, his legs and hips shuddering as his length shot thick strings of cum down his leader’s throat.

 _Finally!_ Hyunwoo’s mind cheered at the striking taste that made his nerves stand at the end.

 

He hungrily lapped up and drank all the load, moaning in ecstasy at the delicious taste of his one love.

Hyungwon moaned out, “Hyunwoo hyung..,” his eyes still shut, now expression relaxing as Hyunwoo bobbed his head up and down the softening shaft through the younger’s orgasm, his mind going fuzzy with the exquisite taste of his Hyungwon in his mouth.

Slowly he popped off and gave the head one last lick to clean up any residue. He dipped his tongue into the slit for the last time, his greedy heart not satisfied, for one last taste.

Hyungwon moaned out the older’s name sleepily, back arching beautifully as his chest heaved.

Hyunwoo kissed the head gently and detached his mouth from the length which went limp.

He glanced up Hyungwon’s form to see the younger male still sleeping, his chest rising and falling a little faster than normal still.

Hyunwoo furrowed his eyebrows as he cautiously slid the boxers up the younger’s thighs, covering his soft dick and rising the waistband to his waist. He placed a tender kiss on that soft bulge through the fabric.

“Hyunwoo-ya…” Hyungwon breathed out as he buried his face into the pillow.

 

Hyunwoo smiled to himself at what had happened, the younger’s sensational taste still lingering in his mouth, as he laid down next to him again.

Hyungwon immediately tangled their limbs together and buried his face in Hyunwoo’s chest, his long arms wrapping around the older’s torso, a satisfied smile playing on his pouty lips.

 

Hyunwoo smiled to himself, his heart still coming down from the high of sucking off Hyungwon _and_ tasting him _finally_.

 

His mind slowly registered that the younger had never woken up, that he had probably had a dirty dream of the older sucking him off while it had actually happened, as Hyunwoo slowly fell asleep tangled in the arms of his Hyungwon.

 

*

Hyungwon had had the best dream he’d ever had in the early hours of that morning.

It had been a sex dream, starring his Hyunwoo hyung and himself.

Hyungwon had a huge fixation for all things oral and his Hyunwoo hyung had satisfied his intense inner desires by sucking him off in the most delicious ways possible. The way his mouth felt against his skin in the dream still had him shivering in pleasure. Hyunwoo had started off with gently kissing his lips, like if he’d apply too pressure Hyungwon would break. Then he had covered his whole face with soft kisses that had made him smile with glee as warmth had filled his chest and butterflies flew in his stomach. He had wanted more but his hyung had gone down and lapped at him with so much passion that Hyungwon couldn’t complain anymore.

 

For a dream it had felt awfully real but sadly, it _was_ just that: a dream.

He doubted he’d ever get the older to use his mouth on him in such exquisite ways that had Hyungwon craving for more.

 

The younger was finally coming to terms that he wasn’t straight. Or at least was very _very_ _gay_ for _just_ his Hyunwoo hyung. Like, why else would he want to kiss the older so badly, dream about him doing dirty things to him and actually want them to happen very very desperately. And not to mention, his desires to do equally or even more naughty things to his hyung. His head spun with possibilities of pleasuring his hyung in the most beautiful ways. How he wished he could someday.

 

Here he was in his hyung’s arms, their legs tangled and chests touching, Hyungwon’s face buried in the crook of the older’s neck, making heat shoot up from the surface of his skin to the very deep end of his racing heart as that musky manly fragrance he loved so much invaded all his senses.

And it _sucked_ because it was most definitely platonic cuddling from the older’s side while Hyungwon had had the wettest dream he had ever had about the older, or ever really. It had been _so sexy_ that Hyungwon’s mind was _still_ reeling from how real it all had felt.

He had _never_ experienced such pleasure in his life as much as he had in that dream, which was weird because it had just been a _dream_.

But it had been so _so_ hot and _amazing_!

He had never dreamt of something like that before, of a guy sucking him off, better yet his _Hyunwoo_ _hyung_ moaning around his dick like the taste of Hyungwon was getting him high.

 

Hyungwon moaned softly as the scenes from the dream flashed through his mind in vivid images. He snuggled closer to the older’s warm taut chest and felt the arm around his naked waist tighten as Hyunwoo pulled him even closer.

 _Wow._ The younger’s mind blanked as electricity flared through his skin in constant and sizzling waves of pleasure.

 

God, he _really_ wanted Son Hyunwoo.

Fuck being straight.

 

**

 

The next time Hyungwon woke up, the bed next to him was empty.

He sighed and stretched his limbs, the lower half of his body still tingling from his vivid sexy dream. So vivid that Hyungwon could still feel soft plush lips around his member. He sighed loudly as he hugged the pillow his head was resting on, inhaling Hyunwoo’s lingering scent from the pillow case.

In his dream, his hyung had also rimmed him fantastically with his skillful tongue. Hyungwon had _never_ been rimmed before and it had truly been an experience, though an unreal made up one. He didn’t even _know_ he had the desire of being rimmed before this morning!

Hyunwoo had also dipped his tongue into his slit _so many_ times that Hyungwon had felt like he was losing his mind.

He had moaned so loudly in his dream while Hyunwoo sucked him off like he was made of glass but at the time like his life depended on getting that cum from Hyungwon, like getting his taste was his one goal in life. Hyungwon had felt so _desired_ and _loved_ in that dream. How he wished he hadn’t woken up from it.

 

He was so disappointed that it had all just been in his head and honestly, how cruel his mind was for conjuring something like that up while he shared the bed with his handsome hyung. His subconscious was officially the most evil thing known to mankind.

He just hoped he hadn’t moaned his hyung’s name out loud because in his head he had begged with desperation for his Hyunwoo to keep going and to not stop, had moaned so loudly that he had probably broken some record.

He was glad that Hoseok had not been in their room last night. It had been just the two of them.

 

Flashes of what had gone down night of their win went through his mind and he buried his face into the pillow, getting a strong whiff of Hyunwoo’s intoxicating scent, and groaned in embarrassment when he remembered pulling the older on top of him, their lips bare centimetres away from each other’s making their breaths mingle.

He couldn’t remember much till a day before but now he was remembering in parts.

Hyungwon remembered the shock on the older’s face and also recalled telling Hyunwoo that he didn’t _mind_ having the older on top of him.

 

But he also wasn’t sure how much his mind had made up and how much that actually happened.

Hyungwon let out another groan of frustration and punched the pillow along with a whine escaping his mouth and getting muffled, thanks to his face still buried in the pillow.

 

His memory had so many gaps. He couldn’t recall _everything_ that had gone down, or anything, if he had actually dreamed it all.

 

He had no idea what had happened between the time he had sexy danced with the guys and when he had been carried to bed by his hyung.

A complete blank black space that he just couldn’t penetrate through. Not yet. Not without a headache forming between his eyebrows every time he tried. The past few days didn’t help him in remembering anything significant.

He flipped over to see a painkiller and a glass of orange juice on the side table. He smiled and sat up as he took the glass and popped the pill into his mouth. He washed it down with the juice in a big gulp and then leaned back against the headrest and sipped the rest of the orange liquid.

 

Hyungwon looked at the table to see a tiny post-it stuck on the wooden surface.

He pulled it up and read it while he sipped his drink.

 

_Good morning, Hyungwon-ah_

_Hope this cures the headache and makes you feel better. See you soon :)_

-  _Hyunwoo_

 

 

His Hyunwoo was so considerate and his feelings for the older had just escalated since the winning night.

Hyungwon sighed happily and clutched the little note to his chest. He was going to keep that little piece of paper safely.

He had collected all the other notes Hyunwoo had left over the years too, in a box at the extreme bottom of his drawers. He didn’t know _why_ he had collected them in particular but he figured he had because they’d made him so happy every time he’d got one!

And he’d collected only Hyunwoo’s, surprisingly.

Now this one would get added to that little collection.

Barely some fifteen notes put together but they were extremely precious to Hyungwon. Some even had tiny hearts on them and he kind of wished this one had a tiny heart drawn on it too.

 

Now he figured he collected them probably because he had always been a little in love with his Hyunwoo hyung, even when he had believed he was straight.

 

How he wished he remembered what had happened after he had plopped down next to the older and taken that _huge_ swig of alcohol from the bottle the older had been holding.

After that his mind had blanked out and his instincts had taken over apparently because Hyungwon got nothing. Nada. Only blank space. He really hoped he hadn’t done anything stupid like professing his undying love or lust or whatever. Or kissed the older smack on his cherry lips. God, that would be too embarrassing.

He figured he could ask the others what had happened but honestly he was better off not knowing because he really couldn’t deal with the consequences right now. Or ever.

It would ruin things with his hyung and that’s the last thing he wanted. But maybe he hadn’t done anything too stupid like kissing the older anywhere inappropriate for _bros_ to kiss. Because Hyunwoo _had_ left him that little note! Or maybe that was because Hyunwoo was just too nice in general. But he _had_ written ‘See you soon’ with that little smiley! So it probably wasn’t that bad.

Anyway, the past few days Hyunwoo or any of the others hadn’t said anything about that night. Not to him anyway.

 

Still Hyungwon figured he’d have to keep his distance from the older (now that he remembered he did _something_ that night and his stupid dream had occurred) so that he didn’t do anything ridiculous. He had to keep his feelings in check and being physically close to the older was _not_ going to help him in the slightest. He couldn’t afford his feelings getting higher.. especially since his hyung didn’t, _couldn’t_ , feel the same way.

For all he knew, Hyunwoo was straight. He definitely _acted_ the straightest amongst them.

Hyungwon felt stupid for not asking the older something like his sexuality when they were such good friends.

Hyungwon sighed as he finished brushing his teeth and washing his face.

He gave himself a look in the mirror and rolled his eyes at his reflection. ‘ _Idiot. Why do you gotta dream such things..._ ’

 

He shut the door of their shared washroom and walked out of their room to the kitchen-cum-dining area.

He leaned against the wall between the hallway and the dining area as his gaze went to Hyunwoo. Who was halfway through his omelette. He was shoving down his food like always, being the total foodie that he was and his cheeks were puffed up like a chipmunk who had nuts in both its cheeks.

Hyungwon sighed fondly at how adorable his hyung looked. Hyunwoo looked up and caught his eye. He swallowed thickly and then gave him a tight lipped smile. The younger felt his stupid heart skip a beat at that genuine and cute smile and he let his lips curl into a smile of their own. Hyunwoo maintained eye contact for a few seconds longer, seconds that made Hyungwon’s stupid heart race a mile a minute, before nodding at him and going back to eating.

Hyungwon sighed and straightened from his position by the wall and walked forward. Then only did his attention go to the others around the table. Because Hoseok wasn’t there. Probably gone to the gym. And Minhyuk was not there either. Probably sleeping.

And there Jooheon _was…_

“Hyung!” Jooheon poked Hyunwoo on his arm. The bear turned around with an eyebrow raised.

Jooheon immediately pointed at his own cheek and made puppy eyes at the older.

Hyungwon rolled his eyes and instead of taking his original seat in front of Hyunwoo, he took Minhyuk’s, which was next to his usual one.

Unfortunately, his eyes remained trained on Hyunwoo and Jooheon.

Hyunwoo sighed and then swallowed his food. Licking his lips, he leaned forward and left a soft quick peck on the rapper’s cheek.

Jooheon squealed and Hyunwoo pulled back to roll his eyes and continue eating.

And Hyungwon didn’t feel _any_ uncomfortable feelings creeping up on his heart and trapping it in discomfort. _Nope. Absolutely not._

“Hyung!” Jooheon called out to Hyunwoo again.

Hyungwon rolled his eyes again, annoyance popping through his nerves like popcorn, as Kihyun kept a plate of omelette and bacon in front of him. He smiled, looking up gratefully at the older.

Kihyun smiled back and ruffled his hair. “Hi, Wonnie. Slept well? Had any good dreams?”

Hyungwon felt his cheeks heating up as he nodded. Kihyun chuckled and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. He closed his eyes for a second at the feeling of soft lips, till it disappeared.

The main vocalist got like that sometimes. It felt nice. Though Hyungwon teased him about it later. As did Minhyuk.

“Good.” Kihyun smiled again before sitting down next to him.

“Hyung..” Jooheon whined and Hyungwon had to drag his attention there. _Bad_ idea.

“What?” Hyunwoo smiled, looking at Jooheon like he was the most precious thing in the whole wide world. And Hyungwon wasn’t jealous. _Nope_. Jealousy who? Naega anin!

“Kiss me again.” Hyunwoo let out a soft groan and leaned forward. Before his lips touched Jooheon’s cheek, the rapper said, “On my lips.”

Hyunwoo immediately leaned back and widened his eyes (cutely. Everything Hyunwoo did was adorable to Hyungwon. Fuck his moronic heart really...) at the younger who just smiled back cheekily. “Jooheon.. no…” Hyunwoo gestured with his eyes at the others but Jooheon just shook his head playfully.

“Please, hyung. Your lips are so kissable and soft. I really want to feel them on mine once. Would probably feel like kissing a pillow. All soft. _Please…_ ”

“Jooheon….” Hyunwoo glanced around the table this time, his eyes landing on Kihyun, who was smirking, Hyungwon, who.. yeah he did not know what expression he had on because Hyunwoo frowned a little, and then Changkyun, who said, “It’s okay. Just once. Go ahead. You have my permission. But _only_ once.” He smiled wide, a mischievous glint shining in his eyes.

Hyungwon’s eyebrows furrowed. Why did they need Changkyun’s _permission…_

“Jooheon-ah…” Hyunwoo looked like he wanted to bolt.

“Please, hyung. Once. A proper kiss. Not brush of lips. Once. _Please. I swear_ I won’t ask again!”

Huh.. so Hyunwoo _wasn’t_ straight? Or…?

Hyunwoo sighed and leaned forward and Hyungwon yanked his eyes away.

He did _not_ need this right in the morning. Not after what his evil brain conjured up at something like 5am or whatever.

But Changkyun, that fucking sadist, pulled at his arm hard and his eyes involuntarily went to the two in front of him.

Hyunwoo leaned forward and gently slotted his lips with Jooheon’s. They softly sucked on each other’s lips, their eyes closed.

Jooheon brought a hand up to card through Hyunwoo’s soft hair and Hyungwon just… he couldn’t bear it.

But his eyes stayed fixed on the scene because he was a masochist and Changkyun and Kihyun cheered and hooted loudly at the PDA.

Like they were cheering for Hyungwon’s death.

Life _really_ didn’t like him huh…

Hyunwoo moved his lips expertly and Jooheon let out a tiny moan. A _moan_. In front of all of them…

Where was Hoseok hyung when he needed him?! Where was his oldest friend Lee Minhyuk? God, he wanted to die and… his anchors were nowhere to be seen…

Hyungwon felt familiar prickling behind his eyes and he willed himself not to cry. Not in front of his maknae and hyungs.

He felt jealousy burn like fire through his body and he had this _intense_ urge to run to the kitchen window, open it and jump down to his death.

But… it wouldn’t work because that fucking thing had metal bars on it.. _and_ they didn’t live high enough for Hyungwon to plummet to his death.

He’d probably just break a few bones and get admitted to the hospital.. _if_ that grill hadn’t been there.

He looked at the front door frantically. Maybe he could get up and bolt outside.

But what explanation would he give to the others…

Or maybe his angel Hoseok hyung would ring the bell right this moment and save him.

But of course… that didn’t happen.

 

His eyes went back just in time to see Hyunwoo pull back, his eyes opening slowly. Jooheon opened his eyes and smiled widely. “Best kisser ever! Changkyun we should take lessons from Hyunwoo hyung!” Changkyun smirked at him when Jooheon looked at him, his eyes shining. “Hyung,” the rapper turned back to Hyunwoo again, “I want to ask for a retake but I promised you I won’t ask again.” Then he looked at Changkyun apologetically, “And anyway, Kyunnie will kill me so… But! Kyunnie! You could kiss him once too and we’ll be even!”

Hyunwoo groaned as he blushed deeply while Jooheon and Changkyun broke into laughter.

The oldest took a quick glance at Hyungwon, who just averted his gaze to his food.

Yeah, his appetite had long since vanished.

He eyed the plate warily as his stomach let out a little groan.

“Joo hyung, if you have lips like that.. you’d _obviously_ be an excellent kisser without even trying!” The maknae said while trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard… Honestly, what was so funny to them? Here, Hyungwon was literally planning their murders or his suicide…

“And! I might take you up on that. Hyunwoo hyung, kiss me too please! I swear we won’t _ever_ ask again!”

Hyunwoo facepalmed himself and hung his head down, not meeting anybody’s eyes.

“That was kind of hot, you guys! Yah, hyung, kiss Kyunnie too! And then me! Maybe Hoseok would want to have a go too!” Kihyun chuckled as he dug into his bacon.

Hyungwon just wanted to die. His death was a joke to them all.

He felt Hyunwoo glancing at him repeatedly but he kept his head down, eyes trained on the food in front of him as he forced down piece after piece.

“You know… it’s a good plan. But Minhyuk will be interested in getting a kiss too. Hyung, come on. Just one day! All of us, one kiss each!”

“Stop you guys… I’m not kissing anyone else in this house…Why is everybody so gay here…”

“Bisexual!” Kihyun, Jooheon and Changkyun chorused. Then Kihyun added, “Hyungwon is straight though. I guess?”

He glanced at Hyungwon but he just munched on his bacon and kept his eyes trained down, his heart getting stuck on ‘not kissing anyone else in this house’ ‘cause he was moronic like that.

Kihyun nudged him and he looked up and smiled the best fake ‘real’ smile he could manage and then gestured to Hyunwoo and the others with his eyes and smirked.

That did it ‘cause Kihyun seemed to buy it and gave him a smirk back before rolling his eyes in the direction of the others.

“ _No one_ at all…? That’s sad, hyung. I know you want to kiss one of us very very bad-“ Jooheon started, his tone playful.

“Jooheon! Please… spare me… let me eat in peace.” Hyunwoo’s toned sounded desperate, like was just _done_ with their antics.

“Fine! We’ll let it go once you give me a kiss too.”

Hyungwon tried not to groan at the maknae. Was Hyunwoo a kissing machine or something now… Also was he straight or not? What was going on… Were the guys just being playful…?

Hyungwon’s mind spun as he forced down more food and took a sip of the chocolate milk Kihyun had placed before his plate. He didn’t register the taste of any of it and just gulped down everything he chewed and drank.

“Okay fine! Come here.” Hyungwon glanced up in disbelief to see Changkyun get up from his side and Jooheon take his seat instead. The maknae sat on the seat Jooheon vacated and leaned forward.

_Unbelievable…._

Hyunwoo sighed, looking at Hyungwon sheepishly (God knew why) and then leaned forward to give Changkyun a quick peck on the lips.

 _Obviously_ that traitor maknae wasn’t satisfied. He whined with his eyes still closed, lips puckered and Hyunwoo whined himself and then slotted their lips together softly in a kiss, similar to the one with Jooheon.

Hyungwon saw their lips move gently together and had the sense to look away, though late.

He rolled his eyes as his heart felt like a hole was getting punched through it.

He looked up to see Changkyun try to deepen the kiss but Hyunwoo abruptly pulled away.

“Enough.” He shook his head sternly and he looked kind of.. scary. That was rare.

Kyun’s eyes widened and he backed away.

And tried to lighten the mood. “Your lips are so soft. You can’t blame me for wanting more! Right, Joo hyung?” He glanced back at his fellow rapper who nodded quickly. “Exactly, hyung! But we promise we won’t ask again. That was it!”

Hyunwoo muttered, “Yeah, it better be….”

He looked at Hyungwon again (what was up with that?!) and Hyungwon gave him a wry smile, his heart aching at how handsome his hyung was and how… he didn’t know… just… It was just a game for the maknaes but for him… He didn’t know.

They maintained eye contact for a few more seconds, Hyunwoo’s eyes looking apologetic (Nah, Hyungwon was projecting), before looking away, something unsaid passing between them but Hyungwon didn’t know what. He just felt.. numb… but he still had this little urge to cry...

In that time the maknaes had exchanged places and Changkyun was back at his side, one chair away. That one chair prevented his imminent murder… and Jooheon should be happy he didn’t share a room with them and had Hyunwoo by his side… Yeah, murder. Key to happiness.

 

“Hyung.. my turn!” Kihyun squealed at his side and Hyungwon, honestly, wanted to go die by banging his head against a wall. He let out a groan, unconsciously. And Hyunwoo let out a sigh.

“Kihyun….”

“Please, hyung! It’s not fair that just those two got to kiss you! Your lips are so puffy and pink and soft and kissable! I want to feel them on mine too!”

Hyungwon had had enough. He stood up abruptly, somehow not knocking his chair down.

“I’m done. See y’all later.” He picked up his empty plate. He had had his usual one serving somehow, not really paying attention to his food or his eating. So it didn’t look out of place for him to just get up and leave. Probably.

He walked away to the kitchen sink without giving a backward glance at anyone at the table, just feeling numb. He rinsed his plate and dried it, then placed it on steel plate holder on the counter, working mechanically like a robot, not paying attention to his actions.

Then he walked inside his room and grabbed his phone and his earpods, all the while not looking at _any_ of them.. not looking at the kiss Hyunwoo gave or did not give Kihyun.. he didn’t know.

 _‘Or care_ ,’ he said to himself.

Then he went and settled on Hoseok’s bed, waiting for the older to come back. Because Hyungwon couldn’t keep it all inside anymore…

 

**

 


	3. Going All In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please ignore typos! I just wanted to get this out coz i’ve been writing it for A WHILE lol  
> Hope you like it and it doesnt seem rushed to you 🙈❤️

“Hey..” Hyunwoo peeped his head inside their room by slightly opening the door.

“Yo.” Hyungwon said without looking up from his phone.

Hoseok had had a schedule though they had a break and then wanted to head to his studio because he felt ‘Inspired’ so Hyungwon had not ‘let it all out’ like he had wanted to.

Anyway, he felt it was petty to keep the older there just to rant and cry like a teenager. He was old enough to keep his feelings to himself. He was the idiot who got himself into this mess. Why bother anybody else with his problems…

So, he just didn’t want anything to do with Hyunwoo right now. He needed his space.

The older took that as invitation and came to sit beside him. Leaving no space.

Heat went through Hyungwon’s skin as their bare knees touched. Fuck his lazy ass for wearing shorts as well. Why couldn’t he have found and put on some sweatpants..

He shifted a little, putting some much needed space between them.

If the older was here to talk about this morning, in case Hyungwon had let out some embarrassing moans or rubbed his member against the older’s thigh or whatever due to that stupid dream, Hyungwon was going to shut him out. He didn’t need this right now… or ever.

The younger didn’t say anything as he continued going through his phone. Twitter was a great thing for passing time. Especially since he couldn’t put on his earphones right now.. because that might be rude? He never considered that before when they’d been just friends, back when he was ‘straight’ and ‘bros’ with his Hyunwoo hyung.

How he wished those days came back…

But then his stupid mouth started on its own, “So, you aren’t straight huh?” He didn’t dare to look at the older though, cursing at himself inside his head.

“Yeah.. I’m bisexual. Thought you knew.”

“Nope. Just saw it first time this morning and found out.” He scrolled through random tags and fansign photos of his and Hoseok’s.

“What about you? Straight?” Something sounded off in Hyunwoo’s voice but maybe Hyungwon was just projecting his crappy mood.

“Donno. Not straight anymore, I guess. I don’t know.” He let the partial truth leave his mouth because he didn’t feel like lying. Not when the older was bisexual and maybe he had a chance…? _Yeah, right._ Hyungwon internally snorted at the direction of his thoughts. Hyunwoo was _so_ into Joo, it was _so_ obvious.

“Oh. Who caught your attention?” Hyunwoo’s tone turned playful as he nudged the younger’s shoulder with his own. And shifted a little closer, removing that space Hyungwon had created. Their bare arms brushed and warmth and tingles spread over his whole arm. _Why… Leave me alone Hyunwoo…_ But then the older _was_ his best friend and.. even when he had been straight they had always cuddled and been touchy and clingy, not in public but definitely in the dorm.

Hyungwon looked up and gave the older a sad smile. “Just someone I thought I just liked a lot as a person. Kind of came out of nowhere.” He chuckled humourlessly and gazed into his phone again.

He had accidentally pulled up a photo of him and Hyunwoo together and Hyunwoo leaned in, making sure Hyungwon got a whiff of his intoxicating scent, “That’s a nice picture. I don’t see many fansites taking our pictures together. Sadly.” The older smiled at him almost sadly too and Hyungwon just shrugged, his heart racing a little from how close the older’s face suddenly was, and how their knees and arms were touching.

“Doesn’t matter. We have loads of selcas together. We just don’t post them often.”

“True.”

There was a moment of silence and then Hyunwoo started, “So.. want to hang out today? Just you and me, our usual. We could get lunch at your fave seafood place?” His eyes were full of hope (unless Hyungwon was projecting again. ‘ _Stop you stupid brain!’)_ and Hyungwon opened his mouth to answer. “Sure-“

But.. the damn door opened just then.

They both turned their heads to look at the doorway and saw Jooheon standing there.

“Hyung!” He practically threw himself at Hyunwoo, kind of squishing Hyungwon too in the process but the brunet moved away in time.

“Joo..” Hyunwoo let out, his voice muffled by Jooheon’s shirt. He had the older locked in a tight hug, straddling the older’s lap with his knees on either side of Hyunwoo’s thighs as he wrapped an arm around his head and one around his shoulders.

“Hi, cutie!” He kissed Hyunwoo, as he pulled back a little, on the forehead and Hyunwoo smiled up at him.

“We _have to_ hang out today!” He pulled back and squealed. And before Hyunwoo could protest, he stood up and pulled the older along with him.

“Jooheon.. I was going to hang out with-“

“Hyungwonnie? You’re _always_ with him!” The younger whined and then turned to face Hyungwon.

“Wonnie, Hyunwoo hyung is mine today. You can have him later.” Before either of them could say anything, the rapper gave their leader a quick peck on the cheek. Jooheon gave Hyungwon a quick glance, whose face had probably fallen epically, before practically dragging their leader out of the room and shutting the door behind them.

 

There went their plan to hang out. Just them two. As usual.

 

Hyungwon snorted at his shitty fate and went back to looking into his phone, this time letting a tear slip out of his eyes, narrowly missing his phone screen as it fell.

His plan for getting space was working too well.

Why was he such a… loser.. He wanted to be the old Hyungwon again!

 

**

“Jooheon! What the hell?! I wanted to stay with him! We can hang out later, come on!” Hyunwoo halted his steps and shook his hand free from the younger’s grip and stood his ground, making the rapper stop too when they almost got to dorm’s main door.

“Hyung, you should’ve looked at his face. He looked so _crushed_ when I entered the room and took you away. That’s why I mainly did it: because I wanted to see his reaction.”

“Really?! But it’s probably just plain disappointment because the plan got cancelled so suddenly. Also what’s with the kissing game?! I don’t want to go around kissing you all! I just want to kiss-“ Hyunwoo went on with a look of indignation but Jooheon cut in.

“Hyungwon. I know. Did you see how broken he looked when we kissed you? He looked like he wanted to be _anywhere_ but there. Like he was trying to bolt. Hyung, can’t you see? He likes you too!”

“I.. no.. He can’t. But. I don’t know…” Images of what happened that morning flashed through his brain and a deep blush formed on his face.

“What? What is it? Come on, we’ll just take a walk around the park nearby and we can talk. Cool?”

“Sure.. but there is nothing to talk about.. I don’t think he likes me Jooheon…”

“You’re kidding me, right?” Jooheon looked at him incredulously. He grabbed the older’s hand and sat them down on the couch.

“Haven’t you ever noticed _how much_ he sulks whenever you hang out with the rest of us instead of him? Obviously he wouldn’t react in front you like that ‘cause it would be childish of him to be so possessive of you. But I have seen it. You go hang out with _any_ of us, anyone apart from him, he legit sulks for a good half hour before going back to normal again.”

“Really?!” Hyunwoo whipped his head up to face the younger.

“Yeah! Ask Hoseok hyung! He’s the one Hyungwon goes to when not to you. Or Minhyuk. Even _I_ come after them both. Most times anyway.” Jooheon shrugged. “Anyway, y’all were cuddling this morning? And that.. whatever happened the night we won…?”

“I don’t think he remembers… _any_ of it. But uh.. maybe he remembered a bit of it so he was embarrassed…? I don’t know.” Hyunwoo figured the rapper would think about the.. kissing of the night they won and how drunk Hyungwon had been. But Hyunwoo actually meant his roommate probably remembering his dirty dream this morning. But he wasn’t telling _anyone_ about today morning. That was going to be his and Hyungwon’s secret.

But apart from his seat change for breakfast, he seemed pretty normal.

“Well, he _did_ just get up and leave from the table this morning. I’m telling you hyung, he has feelings for you.”

“Hmm.. anyway, you know what. I got one good news.” Hyunwoo smiled sheepishly at the younger.

“What?! Tell me!”

“He asked me what my sexuality is. Like.. _finally_. He said he didn’t know I was bisexual..” Hyunwoo leaned back on the couch as he stared at the ceiling.

“Well, that’s out. It’s for the best.”

“Yeah and I asked him too. He said he wasn’t straight anymore-“

“What?!” Jooheon jumped up on the couch and grabbed his hands. “Hyung, I’m telling you! He is falling for you! Or has already fallen for you!”

“Uh.. I don’t know about that but he said something like he fell for someone he thought he only liked a lot as a person. That his feelings kinda came out of nowhere.”

“It’s you! I’m telling you! Anyway, now that we told him we’re going out, let’s. It’s almost lunch time anyway and I recorded some tunes today in the studio this morning. Let’s get something to eat then you come with me to the studio to listen to the tracks. I want feedback.”

“Okay cool.” Hyunwoo straightened and then they both stood up and headed out the dorm.

 

**

 

Hyunwoo had ended up cancelling all hangout plans with Hyungwon after that.

And Hyungwon was starting to get restless because their one week of rest was going to end in nearly four days.

 

So here he was, sulking in his shared room, staring into his phone.

Hoseok had hung out with him and so had Minhyuk, Kihyun and Changkyun. So it had been nice. But Hyunwoo… he had promised to hang out with him every single day of that week before the start of their comeback… and well, so far he had failed to fulfill that promise. It had been a rather impractical promise because they had just _one_ week and they had to make the most of it. But he had been so elated when the older told him he’d spend as much time with him as possible in their one week.

 

If things had been like before, it wouldn’t have bothered Hyungwon _that_ much, definitely not to the extent it was bothering him now. He always sulked when his best friend cancelled plans or didn’t pay him attention. He had always craved for Hyunwoo’s attention, straight or not.

Now it had just become more painful. So here he was sulking for the past hour but trying to distract himself by watching videos and movies.

 

_“Just tell me if you don’t want to hangout with me anymore! Why did you have to make such a promise if you weren’t going to fulfill it anyway?” Hyungwon had almost screamed when Hyunwoo cancelled their lunch date for the day._

_“Hyungwon-ah…” Hyungwon’s heart melted every time the older called his name out. This time too it followed tradition._

_“It’s not like that… I really_ do _want to spend my whole week with you but I gotta hang out everybody else too… I have other friends too…” Hyunwoo had looked away, his ears turning red._

 _“You aren’t just cancelling plans though. You aren’t even talking to me well.. or even hanging out with in the dorm. It’s almost like you are avoiding me, hyung.”  His leader turned redder at that and he figured he really_ was _avoiding him._

 _‘_ Has to be that stupid dream..’

_“Why did you have to make that promise,” Hyungwon’s voice broke, “if.. you.. why raise my hopes like that.. Geez, I sound like your girlfriend or something. Just go. Whatever.” He closed his eyes firmly once and then stalked away to his room._

 

“Hyungwon-ah.” The brunet looked up from Hoseok’s bed to see the Hoseok hyung stand by the closed door. He hadn’t even noticed him coming in due to his mind going over what had happened that afternoon.

He had really sounded like a girl… how pathetic. Bros don’t whine when their bro doesn’t hang out with them.

Yeah, but Hyunwoo wasn’t his _bro_ anymore. Life sucked royally thanks to this shit plot twist.

“Oh hey Seokie!” He smiled a tight lipped smile which his Hoseok hyung returned.

He shrugged off his jacket and hung it on a hook near the door and came to sit beside the younger.

“You’re not happy these days. Missing Hyunwoo? Craving his attention, I see.” He playfully nudged the younger’s shoulder with his own.

The old Hyungwon would’ve denied it and slapped Hoseok on the arm. But the current Hyungwon just smiled wistfully. “That obvious huh?”

“Whoa!” Hoseok’s eyes widened and Hyungwon blushed a little. “You admitted it? What’s changed?”

“Well..” _‘Might as well tell him everything. Better than keeping it all bottled up inside.’ “_ For starters, I’m not straight anymore, yay..” He pumped his fist in fake enthusiasm and Hoseok’s eyes widened again.

“Wait.. whoa.. when did you find out? Who… Is it-“ He raised his eyebrows and Hyungwon nodded and closed his eyes.

He opened them and looked up at the ceiling. “I confirmed it just a few days ago. Like.. nearly four days ago.”

“How..?”

Hyungwon took a deep breath. “It started with me finding Hyunwoo hyung’s lips extremely kissable and just three-four days ago I.. uh..” A blush creeped up his cheeks, covering his neck.

“What did you do?!” Hoseok turned on the bed to face him, sitting cross-legged.

“I.. uh..” _‘Not telling him about that…’_ “I started recalling what I did that night we won. After dancing with you guys, I.. I kinda… kissed Hyunwoo hyung _everywhere_ but on his lips.”

“Whoa! So you really _did_ do it?! I thought I was drunk and my mind conjured it up! And then I brushed away the thought ‘cause you are - were - straight… and what did he do?”

“Nothing. He held me close and let me have my way. Then he carried me to bed when I fell asleep in his arms.”

“He _let_ you do whatever you wanted?! Hyungwon wait.. this means…” Hoseok’s eyes filled with excitement and Hyungwon just sighed.

“I don’t know, hyung. Anyway, then I pulled him onto me on the bed and we were _so close_ , I could’ve kissed him. But I didn’t.” Hoseok let out a groan of disappointment and Hyungwon smiled at his friend.

His Hoseok hyung was the best person to talk to, really. So was Minhyuk but he was out with his platonic soulmate Kihyun.

“But then I got him to sleep next to me for the night. He complied after I begged. Like.. we slept with each other _ages_ later. It’d been _a while_ since that had last happened. Everytime I had asked him or tried to get into bed with him, he had pushed me away after this one time more than a year ago…” Hyungwon’s eyes widened as he felt something connecting in his head.

“That one time we slept together and I had cuddled with him fully, tangling our legs and we had just our boxers on and I had kissed him on the cheek… It had felt like paradise that night. Hyunwoo seemed to like it too. Then.. he started pushing me away.”

“Hyungwon.. Hyunwoo likes you…” Hoseok squeezed his shoulder and the younger’s heart started filling with hope, seeing the glee in the older’s eyes. But then..

“Hyung, but..three days ago.. I had a.. a..” ‘ _Oh, fuck it.’ “_ A very dirty dream about hyung and I think I rubbed against his thigh.. and.. well..” He felt the temperature of the room go up significantly and he started sweating from how furiously he was blushing.

“You moaned out his name didn’t you? And now you feel that’s why he has been avoiding you. Makes sense now. But.. from what you told me, it seems like he likes you… Maybe he has his own reasons to keep his distance, you know…” Hoseok’s eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“Hyung, I don’t want these feelings. I seriously.. love him so much…” Hyungwon admitted for the first time, to himself and to anybody else. Relief coursed through his body when he finally let those words tumble out of his mouth.

“I know. I have always known that you love him a lot. Hell, I know he has always meant more to you than anybody else. And I even felt you have always been a little bit in love with him, whether you accepted it or not. That’s why I’ve always teased you so much with him.” Hoseok snorted. And Hyungwon smiled sheepishly. “Guess you have been never been straight since you met him huh..”

“Yeah. I feel you are right. I realized that I _have_ always loved him. More than a friend. Or else..” Hyungwon shook his head at himself, facepalming himself.

“Or else you wouldn’t sulk so much everytime he doesn’t hangout with you but with someone else. You brush it off easily when others say no or cancel. But when Hyunwoo does it..”

Hyungwon let out a humourless chuckle and Hoseok rubbed his back comfortingly.

He leaned into his hyung, tears forming in his eyes.

“I don’t know what to do, hyung. He is avoiding me and I don’t know how to approach him. I really put us in an awkward position. What if the group dynamics get ruined because of me. I’m so sorry..” The tears started flowing out then and the older hugged Hyungwon tightly and held him close as the brunet cried into his chest.

“It’s okay. Let it out. Everything will be fine. He’ll come around. It won’t suck in the long run. Hyunwoo loves you _so much_ as a friend. He won’t let your friendship die. Hopefully. Kihyun didn’t. I _really_ like him. He likes me too. We have decided we’ll give it a chance! I confessed and here we are!”

“Hyung, you didn’t tell me! What?!” Hyungwon momentarily forgot about himself and his ‘problems’. “Why didn’t you tell me?! When did this happen?!”

“This morning. You're the first person I told!” Hoseok smiled widely.

“Aww, hyungie! I’m so happy for you!” He hugged the older hard and then… he started crying again.. He cried it all out, his happiness for his Hoseok hyung, all his frustrations, his coming out, his love for his Hyunwoo hyung who confused him so much.

He let out a hiccup up as his tears finally died down and he looked up at Hoseok, his eyes shining from the water works they had just produced.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I’m really happy for you.. but all this is really.. fucking up my emotions. Feels like I’m a girl PMSing…” They both chuckled at his comparison and then Hyungwon went on, “Sorry. I’m being self-centered. But I want someone to hear me out.. I love him so much, Hoseok hyung. I don’t want it to be like this. I want it go back to normal, where we hung out. Where he didn’t avoid me. I don’t care. I’ll be just friends with him. It’s fine! Just… I want him to be my best friend again. I want him to spend more time with me…” Saying all that out loud felt _so good_ , like a huge burden had lifted off of his chest. He had kept in his feelings for some weeks now. Maybe months, now that he thought about it.

“It’s okay Wonnie. Let it all out. You’ll feel better. You have had it inside you for too long! You didn’t tell anyone anything. I’m here. I’ll listen.”

Hyungwon gave him a wistful smile, feeling grateful he had such an amazing selfless friend.

 

Neither of them noticed when the door opened slightly as they were focused only on each other. Hoseok rubbed the younger’s back, his eyes filled with concern.

Hyungwon’s chest heaved and he let out a shaky breath, his voice cracking with unshed tears as he rested his head in the crook of Hoseok’s neck, “I.. just.. I love Hyunwoo hyung so much…” He said it again, because it felt good to say it. To admit to himself and someone who wasn’t him. A friend who cared and understood him, like Hoseok.

Tears ran down his face again. And Hoseok ran his fingers through the brunet hair, trying to calm him down.

“Everything will be okay. It worked out for me, didn’t it? It will for you.. too…” He trailed off as his eyes landed on the opened door.

There Hyunwoo was, standing at the door, his arm extended as he still held the doorknob from outside.

“What…” Hyunwoo breathed out, his mouth hanging open as he took in the scene in front him, his mind trying to process the words he had heard come out of Hyungwon’s mouth.

Hyungwon felt his hyung’s body go rigid and he looked up to see his gaze at the door.

He followed the older’s gaze and well.. _shit.._

 

“I-I think.. you both should talk.” Hoseok patted Hyungwon’s back once before he whizzed past them and outside the room in a flash. He had never seen Hoseok move _that_ fast. He wanted to laugh but seeing Hyunwoo in front of him made that laughter disappear from inside his chest itself.

Hyungwon straightened as his eyes went wide.

Hyunwoo slowly walked forward and sat down next to him, body angled to face him fully. He had one leg bent and the foot resting beneath the knee of the other leg, which was dangling off of the bed.

“What did you just say?” Hyunwoo’s widened eyes searched his own and Hyungwon gulped loudly, his heart beating violently like it wanted to escape his chest by crawling up and out of his throat.

“Hyung.. I-I.. It’s just a phase. I’ll get past it! Just.. I’ll keep my distance from you for a while and it’ll become normal again! Anyway we haven’t been hanging out much lately. So, we can continue with that!” He waved his hands in front of him, trying to pacify Hyunwoo. His heart was beating too wildly at this point to be healthy. He felt lightheaded as he said everything he could to reassure his hyung. He really didn’t want to lose him or make him upset or uncomfortable in anyway.

“It’s not a big deal! I’ll get over you! It’s just some infatuation! I’m sorry! I’m really sorry, hyung. I tried to keep my feelings at bay but I couldn’t! I’m so sorry but I’ll work on it!” Hyungwon tried to sound perky and optimistic about the whole thing but his voice cracked and he felt tears prickle at the back of his eyes as Hyunwoo continued looking at him with serious, slightly widened eyes.

But he blinked them back, he kept the tears at bay. He could do that, though he couldn’t say the same for his imbecilic feelings.

He would _not_ cry in front of the older.

“I won’t let the group dynamics get ruined, I promi-“ His full speed rambling got cut off when Hyunwoo raised an arm to squeeze his shoulder, maintaining eye contact.

“ _What_ did you say?”

“Hyung, let it go. Please. You weren’t supposed to hear me say that! I’m sorry-“ Hyungwon just wanted to escape from the room, as panic and adrenaline ran through his veins in full force but the older’s grip was strong. The tears were getting harder to keep at bay and he was starting to hyperventilate a tiny bit. _Great…_ His eyes darted towards the slightly opened door. He could just.. _bolt._ He just needed to remove that firmly gripping hand away from his shoulder. He could do this!

 

“Tell me what you said, Hyungwon-ah.” Hyungwon’s eyes shot back to his leader’s beautiful face. Hyunwoo’s voice was serious, as serious as his expression. He was using his leader no-nonsense voice. The one no one dared to disobey.

Hyungwon took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut like he was in pain, his heart beating so fast and hard that he felt his quickened pulse throughout his body.

“H-Hyunwoo hyung,” his voice shook terribly, cracking due to the tears which felt thick and choking in his throat, which ached at how much he was controlling them from falling. “I-I.. I love you. Way beyond a friend, or a roommate or a group mate.” He paused before adding, “I’m sorry… This wasn’t supposed to happen… I’m sorry. I’ll give you as much space as you want. For however long.” He exhaled out a shuddering breath. “

“Please just don’t cut off our friendship. Please. ”

He kept his eyes closed, one tear finally escaping to roll down his cheek. He immediately raised a hand up and quickly brushed it away.

_Shit… there went my control… It’s all over…_

_He’s really going to just up and leave now…_

 

He felt Hyunwoo’s hand drop from his shoulder.

His heart clenched painfully, the tears on the verge of slipping out again and he just wanted to let them, wanted to just cry. Hurt crashed like high tides in his mind and heart as his body started to shake a little.

He didn’t know _why_ he was getting affected _this_ much. No girl had made him feel this strongly for her before… Hyunwoo just… made him feel too strongly. Way stronger than Hyungwon had ever experienced. Maybe because he wasn’t just some crush. He was his friend too. Best friend. Probably not anymore, not after this…

He felt the weight shift on the bed and figured it was because the older was getting up to leave the room.

In that moment, he definitely didn’t consider Hyunwoo his best friend. He was a person he confessed to and he was waiting for the definite rejection that would come.

Hyungwon had never been rejected before. This was going to be one _hell_ of an experience.

 

He definitely didn’t know his best friend well enough.

 

Because... he figured wrong. _So_ wrong.

Because Hyunwoo did no such thing.

No.

Hyunwoo wrapped Hyungwon in a very tight hug and Hyungwon squeezed his eyes tighter as a shuddering breath left his mouth. His breathing was very erratic and he really _really_ wanted to cry, despite being hugged so tightly and being _so_ close to Hyunwoo’s body

Hyunwoo’s hold didn’t slacken at all, so he hesitantly raised his arms too, to hug his hyung back, his movements full of uncertainty, constantly blinking to stop himself from crying like he badly desired to.

He felt so scared despite being in his Hyunwoo hyung’s safe arms, arms which had always felt like home. But he didn’t know how they made him feel right then.

Then Hyunwoo spoke.

“I have waited for _so long_ to hear you say that, Hyungwon-ah!” He said into the younger’s ear and Hyungwon immediately pulled back, his eyes going wide.

“What?!”

Hyunwoo smiled at him widely. “Don’t be sorry. I don’t want space. At all. Because.. I love you too! So much!”

Hyungwon didn’t say anything for a while. It felt like hours before he made his voice work, but probably just a minute or so had passed as he stared at the older incredulously.

“What… no way.. you’re serious?! Since when?! What?!” He shook his head from side to side fast, eyes full of denial. His left hand automatically went to his right arm and he started pinching himself to wake himself up from whatever weird dream he was in. He flinched at particularly harsh pinch.

But he wouldn’t put it past his _extremely creative_ mind to conjure up something this cruel. It had conjured up _the_ best sex dream Hyungwon had ever dreamt. It felt as real and vivid as the harsh pinch he had given himself a second ago.

So, it could make up anything really.

Hyunwoo was about to speak when Hyungwon interrupted him.

He said slowly while maintaining eye contact like he was explaining something to a one year old, emphasising the words to make the older understand, “Wait a minute. Hyung. I _love_ you. _Beyond_ a friend. Beyond a kpop group mate. I’m _in love_ with you. You can’t _possibly_ love me back in that way.” He let out a self-deprecating humourless chuckle.

“Yes, Wonnie. I get that.” He patted the younger on his back reassuringly. “I’m _in love_ with you, too! I _love you_ , _way_ beyond a friend or a group mate too! I totally understand what you are saying.” Hyunwoo chuckled as he softly pinched the brunet’s cheek, his eyes full of fondness.

For Hyungwon.

Not Jooheon. Or anyone else.

But _Chae Hyungwon…? What the actual fuck._

 

“Hyung.. you’re kidding me right? Why me?! Aren’t you in love with Joo?” Yeah, he was _for sure_ dreaming. Why would Hyunwoo love _him_ anyway. He was always attached at the hip with Jooheon, not him.

“Jooheon?! No!” Hyunwoo shook his head fast. “I don’t love him the way I love you!”

“Huh… you sure? God, this makes no sense.. Come on.. You love Jooheon! Not me! You always choose him in shows too and even publicly.. You can’t like me that way. No way.” Hyungwon furrowed his eyebrows and looked at his hands which were folded in his lap.

“No way.. I’m dreaming this time around too… obviously.”

“‘This time around too..’” Hyunwoo muttered and chuckled, his hand going to Hyungwon’s lap to untangle the younger’s joint hands and hold one in his own.

Hyungwon turned red and shut his eyes again.

God, he was so embarrassed, he just wanted to die despite what Hyunwoo had said. Despite having professed his love for the younger… which Hyungwon still didn’t believe actually happened. “You heard…”

“Yes. Yes, I did.”

“Hyung….” His free hand went to cover his eyes, though already shut. Could the bed just hollow in and the ground beneath it open up to swallow him whole? Please?

Hyunwoo squeezed his hand and Hyungwon dropped the hand covering his eyes and opened his eyes to stare at their joint hands.

It felt _so right_ to be holding hands with his Hyunwoo hyung.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed… and well, as for your question, remember the last time we slept together before this comeback.” Hyungwon glanced up at him and nodded.

“It was literally the best night of my life. Best night before the night of the win happened and then that morning, you.. uh..and I did that.. yeah…” The older blushed a deep red and Hyungwon’s face probably looked just as tomato-like.

_What?! What happened that night?! He did what that morning?_

“Hyung-“

“Wait. Be patient.” Hyunwoo placed a finger against the younger’s mouth and he quieted down immediately.

“So.. that night we cuddled together. It was pure bliss. And after you fell asleep I realized I was screwed.” He looked down, the blush staying on his chubby cheeks and creeping down his sexy neck and Hyungwon just stared.

He couldn’t help it! Hyunwoo was just so adorable!

“Well.. that night I realized I had fallen for you… and I.. just… realised I’m extremely screwed because you are- were - straight… and I kinda realized that I’m bisexual. So.. yeah…”

“I made you bisexual huh.. you made me bisexual too.” Hyungwon chuckled as he squeezed the older’s hand.

“Yay for us.” Hyunwoo smiled at him and Hyungwon let out an involuntary sigh at how gorgeous his hyung was.

Then his eyes widened. “Hyung! That.. that was.. over a year ago! What?! You liked me-what?!” His head was spinning with this new realization and Hyungwon felt like he had been punched in the gut.

“Yeah. I’ve loved you since then. It’s really been over a year, wow…” Hyunwoo shook his head at himself.

“Come here!” Hyungwon let go of the older’s hand to wrap him in a very tight hug, forgetting he was embarrassed for whatever the hell had happened.

Hyunwoo hugged him back tightly and though it was getting hard to breathe, Hyungwon was in paradise. He closed his eyes and relaxed his body against the older’s and place his head on his leader’s broad shoulders.

He really wasn’t going to let go of his hyung _ever_ if he could help it!

Hyunwoo’s hold slackened as he rubbed the younger’s back gently, palms going up and down.

The brunet placed a soft kiss on the older’s neck and then a few more over whatever exposed skin he could find.

Hyunwoo sighed before saying, “This is what happened the night we won.”

Hyungwon pulled away, their arms still around each other, “Huh? What’s that supposed to…” His eyes widened as flashes of that night came back to him. He knew _exactly_ what the older meant.

His whole face and his neck reddened very fast as uncomfortable heat spread everywhere. He definitely resembled a tomato for sure. Geez.. he had _no idea_ he could blush this much, _nonstop!_ The power Hyunwoo held...

“Oh.. so that really happened. I thought I had dreamt that too..” He eyed his leader shyly as he said, “I was cursing at myself for not kissing you when I could’ve, in my dream at least.”

“Well..” Hyunwoo brought their faces extremely close by gently pulling Hyungwon’s chin forward with his fingers. “If you agree to be mine, you can kiss me whenever you want..” He murmured, their lips bare centimetres away from each other and Hyungwon’s heart was hammering loudly and painfully in his chest. Hyunwoo lightly brushed their lips together and the brunet closed his eyes in anticipation as a little sigh escaped his mouth.

“I’m all yours. Always. Until you’ll have me.” He murmured with his eyes closed, relishing the feeling of having Hyunwoo so, _so_ close to him.

“Perfect. How does being mine forever sound?” Hyunwoo whispered against his lips.

“Sounds like exactly what I want, hyung.” He breathed out.

Hyunwoo hummed before gently connecting their lips together. Hyunwoo’s plush lips trapped Hyungwon’s thick bottom lip in between theirs.

 

They slowly sucked on each other’s lips, being as soft and gentle as possible. Hyungwon pulled Hyunwoo close, their chests touching.

The younger leaned back, taking the older with him as they fall back on the bed, Hyunwoo lying on top of Hyungwon. “Perfect. I like it when you are on top of me,” Hyungwon whispered against the older’s lips before pulling him back in by grabbing his hair at the back of his head.

He gently carded his fingers through the soft strands as they softly kissed each other, their mouths gently moving against each other. It was just so soft and gentle that when Hyungwon wrapped his other arm around the older’s torso, he felt the older sigh and melt against his body.

They kissed for a long while, just tender play of lips and soft moans and groans filling the room around them.

It was perfect, kissing Hyunwoo so sweetly and having him on top of him, his weight pressing deliciously against his burning skin.

His veins burned as delicious heat coursed through them in continuous waves of pleasure. Hyunwoo lightly moaned into his mouth as Hyungwon pulled him down to deepen the kiss.

A shiver went through him because _he_ had made Hyunwoo moan. He lightly nipped his bottom lip and the older slightly opened his mouth.

Hyungwon slipped in his tongue and moaned at the feeling of the older’s tongue touching his own, electricity running throughout his spine and nerves.

They languidly tasted each other, their tongues slowly and casually exploring each other’s mouth.

Hyungwon slowly ran the tip of his tongue over the surface of the older’s tongue and Hyunwoo pressed closer to him and moaned. Hyungwon tangled his fingers in the older’s hair again and the room got hotter and hotter as they kissed and sucked on each other’s tongue, soft then rough, gently then hungrily, alternating between the pressures.

They momentarily pulled away to breathe heavily as they stared into each other’s eyes with want and love. Then Hyunwoo dived back in and slotted their lips together again.

Their tongues danced in sync over and under each other and honestly, Hyungwon wasn’t inhabiting his body anymore. He felt so goddamn lightheaded and hot all over as his veins burnt in exquisite fire wherever Hyunwoo touched him, the older’s body heat heating up his skin.

Hyungwon rolled them over and pinned the older beneath him, never breaking the kiss.

They both had their hands all over the other’s body, grabbing and caressing and holding possessively. It was _everything_ Hyungwon had ever wanted.

Well, he wanted more. Like having the older’s mouth all over his body, teasing, exploring, kissing, sucking hickeys and marking Hyungwon as Hyunwoo’s and Hyunwoo’s _only._

Hyunwoo tangled his fingers through his dark brown gently and then they reluctantly pulled away, their eyes opening slowly, as if waking up from a deep slumber or an epic dream.

They stared into each other’s eyes as Hyunwoo continued caressing his back and running his fingers through the younger’s hair.

“Chae Hyungwon. I can’t believe you’re finally mine.” Hyunwoo looked at him in awe and Hyungwon wanted to bathe in that look, take a video or picture of that look, frame it. Or have this moment frozen.

He bent down to kiss the older sweetly, his chest blooming with unconditional love for his amazing Hyunwoo hyung.

They pulled away again and Hyunwoo started, his voice hesitant, “You know.. that morning..” Hyungwon whined and hid his face in the crook of the older’s neck.

Hyunwoo chuckled as he wrapped both his arms around his.. boyfriend…?

“You only _dreamt_ about me.. and you.. doing it. But I…”

Hyungwon looked up when the older didn’t say anything for a full minute.

“You…?”

Hyunwoo rolled them over and then pulled away to sit up. He patted the bed next to him and Hyungwon sat beside the older, turning his body a bit to face the older. His eyebrows were furrowed and his heart was beating unevenly.

“Uh.. first. Hyungwon-ah!” Hyunwoo looked at him with hope in his eyes but teeth nervously nipping at his bottom lip.

Obviously, Hyungwon’s eyes went to that distracting bottom lip. His eyes just followed the tradition they had been following since the day they had had that shoot for the photocards and album photobooklet.

He leaned forward and gently released that bottom lip from the clutches of Hyunwoo’s front teeth with his index finger. Hyunwoo’s eyes widened and his breath hitched and they locked eyes, awfully close.

Hyungwon closed the distance and softly sucked on that abused bottom lip for a few seconds and then he pulled back. Hyunwoo slowly opened his eyes, as if waking up from a dream, as he looked at Hyungwon with so much.. _love_. Hyungwon wanted to just.. crush Hyunwoo in a tight hug but bask in that tender adoring looking the older was giving him, both at the same time.

“I love you.” He said instead as his lightly brushed the older’s cheek with his knuckles. Hyunwoo closed his eyes at the feeling. Then he opened them and let out a long exhale and Hyungwon pulled away his hand.

“Hyungwon-ah.. that morning.. I..” He started to colour red very fast as he looked down at his lap and ran a hand through his hair.

Then he said very fast in a voice pitched so low that Hyungwon almost didn’t hear it, “I kissed you, I sucked you off and I even rimmed you.”

Hyungwon’s eyes widened to nearly twice their size and he already had big eyes for Korean standards.

Hyunwoo hid his face in his hands and wouldn’t even glance at the younger. But Hyungwon could see his ears turning red.

He had always found that extremely adorable and the guys always teased their leader about it. Because that meant Hyunwoo was extremely embarrassed or being very shy. It was so cute! Once Hyungwon had jokingly kissed the tips of both his ears when Hyunwoo had blushed furiously in front of him.. around the time they had slept next to each other, nearly a year ago.

 

Hyungwon did exactly that this time too.

He leaned forward and lightly kissed the tip of the ear closer to him and then he straddled the older and kissed the other too, heat radiating from the reddened skin.

Hyunwoo whined and then dropped his hands to his lap.

The brunet chuckled lightly before pecking the older on the lips softly. “You’re so adorable. And naughty. I love it!” Hyungwon grinned at his.. boyfriend(?) and Hyunwoo gave him a little smile, looking precious.

“Well, I _knew_ it felt _too_ real and vivid to be a dream completely but then I didn’t accept it because I thought why would _you_ do that.. to me that too. Wish I had been awake. It was still _the best_ suck off I have ever experienced but wish I had been awake when it had happened.” He grinned at the older who hid his face in Hyungwon’s neck and the younger wrapped his arms around the older’s back.

“My precious hyung. Your mouth and tongue are so skillful. I loved _every_ single moment of it all. I wish I had woken up. We would’ve got together then itself!” Then something clicked into place in Hyungwon’s head. “Wait! Is that why you avoided me? Or because of how I.. behaved.. or had a.. dream about you and.. uh.. moaned out your name? But you came to ask me to hang out with you that day in the afternoon..” Now Hyungwon was back to blushing too, slight confusion filling his eyes.

“No. Not because of you. I was _thrilled_ because you dreamt about me _while_ I was.. having my way with you. Even the night we won was pure bliss. And I came to you in the afternoon that day because I felt terrible because of the guys.. getting me to kiss them, right in front of you. I wanted to shower you with all my love and attention as compensation for making you see that.. and to lessen my guilt.. It felt like I had cheated on you and we weren’t even together..”

He sighed before continuing, “I avoided you after that day because we weren’t even together and I did all that to you that morning.. made you see me kiss others right after that, though I knew you had dreamt about you and I being together. It felt so wrong and I felt so guilty and embarrassed after that. Couldn’t face you.” Hyunwoo hid his face in his neck again.

Hyungwon just gently ran his fingers through the older’s thick black hair.

Then Hyunwoo said softly, “It’s okay if you weren’t awake. You’re mine now. I’m not letting you leave me ever. I promise I won’t kiss _anybody else_ . _Only you._ I’m sorry about what you had to see. And don’t worry. That wasn’t a one time thing. I can and will do it every time you want me to.” He looked up and gave him a wink and Hyungwon coloured beautifully. “And every time I want to and… well, with your permission, of course.. I.. uh.. yeah.”

“No! Do whatever you want with me. You sucking me off and rimming me while I was asleep was _hot._ Seriously very hot. You don’t need my permission. I’m _yours,_ Hyunwoo! _All and fully yours and only yours!_ ” He pecked the older’s lips softly when his head lifted off Hyungwon’s neck.

“I have never been rimmed before that morning, you know… It was _awesome_. You’re excellent at these things. How…”

“Wow! I’m gonna rim you _way_ more now. And as to how.. I don’t know. I just wanted to taste you _so badly_ that I just went with my gut. I have never rimmed anybody or even sucked anyone off before you that morning. You were my first. You’re the first guy I kissed too.” Hyungwon looked like he wanted to say something, then looked lost in thought.

“Well, I kissed you first that morning while you were asleep. Jooheon and Kyunnie after that. But you were first. The first guy I’ve ever kissed,” Hyunwoo proceeded to explain and Hyungwon stopped looking lost as understanding went through his eyes.

“Wow.. But.. You were _so_ amazing! You’re a natural…and are my first too. No guy before you ever kissed me, neither did I kiss any guy before you, and none did anyone of that to me.. No one but you..” Hyungwon trailed off as he hid his face in Hyunwoo’s neck. Hyunwoo hugged him close and they both chuckled a little and continued blushing. Talking about these things made them shy as fuck but they found each other’s reactions very adorable.

“Why did you do it…”

“Your.. uh.. Hyungwon Junior nudged my thigh repeatedly. I couldn’t stop myself. Whenever you wear tight pants.. your legs.. you..the way you walk. Drives me crazy. I have wanted to suck off for a _while_ now.” Hyunwoo chuckled and Hyungwon hit him on the arm lightly as he was dying from embarrassment. “Hyung…”

“You taste _so good,_ Hyungwon-ah. I want to do it over and over. I want to just.. eat you up.”

“Hyung… I’m all yours to do whatever you want with. _Anything_ you want and we can do it. I’m open to it all. And honestly, I have wanted to suck off you for a while too.. your pants, especially sweatpants… God…”

He had lost his filter and anyway Hyunwoo had gone all out so.

“Hyungwon, you’re making me go insane…”

“I have gone crazy because of you. It’s only fair I drive you insane, too.” Hyungwon chuckled.

Hyunwoo hugged him closer and kissed his forehead sweetly.

The brunet found it funny how it had gone from sweet to dirty talk and then sweet again.

 _Only Showhyung things_ , his mind said happily.

(Yeah, he knew about Showhyung. He saw and read it all.)

“Hyung,” Hyungwon laid his head in the crook of the older’s neck and turned his face to look up at his hyung, “what did you ask Jooheon that day? What did he give you tips on…?” He’d been curious about that since the day of the shoot when the older had told him about it.

“Tips on how to make you fall for me, too.” Hyunwoo smiled as he ran his fingers through Hyungwon’s hair softly.

The brunet blushed and hit his leader on the arm lightly. “Be serious. What did you ask him?”

“I _am_ serious!” Hyunwoo laughed and then continued, “I asked him what to do to get you to notice me in that way. Jooheon felt there was chance of you being bisexual in the very deep end of your heart. Because he noticed how much you.. cared for me. And how possessive you were on of me, though you didn’t show it publicly.”

“Wow.. I need to thank Jooheon. So, what did you do…?” Hyungwon asked, though he had an idea of what their plan had been.

“He wanted me to ‘capitalise’ on my best features. Which he believes are my lips. So, he got the makeup artist to apply extra gloss on my lips _right_ in front of you. And thankfully, your attention went to them as planned.” Hyunwoo grinned sheepishly and then blushed.

“‘Capitalise.’ Who has the Economics major degree again? You or him?!” Hyungwon laughed. “God, he is so.. brainy.”

The black haired male laughed. “Yes, he is a genius. I’m glad it worked on you though. I, honestly, didn’t think it’d work for more than a second. I thought you’d just glance at my lips and just look away, forgetting all about it. But you.. _stared…_ ” Hyungwon smiled sheepishly.

“So, we planned on me..”

“Making your lips as prominent to me as possible. You made me notice your lips, alright. I couldn’t stop thinking about them. How soft they are.” His voice became softer as he continued, “How kissable they look always. How much I wanted you to just press them on mine to see if they’d really feel as soft as they look.” Hyungwon raised his head to kiss the older softly, closing his eyes as he sucked on that juicy cherry-like bottom lip. Hyunwoo let out a tiny moan. Hyungwon pecked him once and pulled away, laying his head on the juncture between the older’s neck and shoulder again.

“Well, after that.. I tried to get as close to you as possible. Physically.”

“You drove me insane that week. I just wanted to pin you against a wall and kiss the hell of you. God.” The brunet sighed as he turned his head to place a soft kiss on the older’s neck.

Hyunwoo sighed. “Wish you had done it. It would’ve been so so hot.”

“I can still do it. I want you so much.”

“Same here. I already proved that to you.”

“I want a repeat. I want to be awake this time.” He kissed that sinful neck again.

“You’ll get _many_ repeats, don’t worry, awake or not.” Hyungwon blushed and hugged Hyunwoo tighter.

“Hyungwon-ah!” Hyungwon pulled back a little to stare into the older’s beautiful eyes. “I love you! Will you be my boyfriend?”

The younger giggled and kissed his leader, the leader of his heart Son Hyunwoo, softly and said, “I love you, too. And ‘will you be my boyfriend’?!” He looked at the older appalled, who smiled nervously.

“I became your boyfriend the second I said I’m all yours till whenever!”

“Aah! Right. Then okay.” They both giggled at that and Hyunwoo laid them down on the bed, Hyungwon pinned underneath him.

 

They stared into each other’s eyes, their eyes shining with happiness and love, and smiled widely, their thoughts the exact same.

 

_How did I get so lucky…_

_This is perfect._

 

Hyungwon slotted their lips in a soft kiss and Hyunwoo had _no choice but_ to melt against the younger, who was pressed so deliciously close to him.

 

*~*~*

 


End file.
